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General Parenting
hard on my difficult child?!?!?
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<blockquote data-quote="mstang67chic" data-source="post: 69930" data-attributes="member: 2459"><p>We've all been there done that and been told by many people in our lives how our difficult child's behaviors are our faults. Personally, I've been told that I'm too hard on difficult child, too easy on difficult child, I'm exaggerating his behaviors, he's just a typical teen, he's still adjusting to us adopting him (EIGHT years later), blah blah blah blah blah. Some of the people that made these comments have backed off after seeing difficult child in action, some haven't or have yet to see the "real" difficult child. husband and I had to take a court ordered parenting class at one point because difficult child was showing up in court so many times. (This on top of all of the training we got that made us Theraputic Foster Parents before we adopted him) The lady that taught the class just didn't get it. She would ask us questions on how we discipline and 9 times out of 10 told us what we were doing "wrong". Most classes I either wanted to strangle her or laugh in her face. The classes were held at our Youth Services Bureau who we were working with at the time and the staff was VERY familiar with difficult child. Someone (or two) finally pulled this lady aside and explained the situation to her and she left us alone after that. She had fancy names for her techniques but it was all basically common sense and absolutely no help whatsoever. Yes, she did make me angry with her comments but for the most part I let it roll off because I knew she didn't have the first clue. She's now writing a relationship/parenting column for an area newspaper which I think is hysterical.</p><p></p><p>Anyhoo.......I guess what I'm trying to say is that you're going to get a LOT of those types of comments over the years. Once in a blue moon someone may point out a good point but for the most part, smile, nod your head and then do what you've always done. You're the one who lives with your difficult child and knows what's working and what isn't.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mstang67chic, post: 69930, member: 2459"] We've all been there done that and been told by many people in our lives how our difficult child's behaviors are our faults. Personally, I've been told that I'm too hard on difficult child, too easy on difficult child, I'm exaggerating his behaviors, he's just a typical teen, he's still adjusting to us adopting him (EIGHT years later), blah blah blah blah blah. Some of the people that made these comments have backed off after seeing difficult child in action, some haven't or have yet to see the "real" difficult child. husband and I had to take a court ordered parenting class at one point because difficult child was showing up in court so many times. (This on top of all of the training we got that made us Theraputic Foster Parents before we adopted him) The lady that taught the class just didn't get it. She would ask us questions on how we discipline and 9 times out of 10 told us what we were doing "wrong". Most classes I either wanted to strangle her or laugh in her face. The classes were held at our Youth Services Bureau who we were working with at the time and the staff was VERY familiar with difficult child. Someone (or two) finally pulled this lady aside and explained the situation to her and she left us alone after that. She had fancy names for her techniques but it was all basically common sense and absolutely no help whatsoever. Yes, she did make me angry with her comments but for the most part I let it roll off because I knew she didn't have the first clue. She's now writing a relationship/parenting column for an area newspaper which I think is hysterical. Anyhoo.......I guess what I'm trying to say is that you're going to get a LOT of those types of comments over the years. Once in a blue moon someone may point out a good point but for the most part, smile, nod your head and then do what you've always done. You're the one who lives with your difficult child and knows what's working and what isn't. [/QUOTE]
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