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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 15533" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Isabel, it's not your fault. Tattoo it on your forehead in letters of fire. You're fretting about "stress during pregnancy, pre-eclamsia" - there are many babies born after such stress factors, who are NOT like your difficult child. YOU DID NOT DO THIS. All that you HAVE done, is love your child and try to help him. Would he be where he is now, getting a diagnosis and some intervention, if you hadn't done your best?</p><p></p><p>Blame and guilt will slow down your effectiveness and achieve absolutely nothing. It's natural for us to do this because sometimes we can find a clue that can help - but not in this case. Recognise that your guilt is coming from a desperation for things to be normal, and that isn't going to happen. But you have already come a long way down the path to helping your son. I looked to see how old he is - I was surprised at the answers you've got, when he's not even in his teens yet. You have done wonders.</p><p></p><p>He's not perfect - that's not your fault. It's not his, either. It's just one of those things. All you can do is hold on for the ride, from here.</p><p></p><p>We're here holding on with you.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 15533, member: 1991"] Isabel, it's not your fault. Tattoo it on your forehead in letters of fire. You're fretting about "stress during pregnancy, pre-eclamsia" - there are many babies born after such stress factors, who are NOT like your difficult child. YOU DID NOT DO THIS. All that you HAVE done, is love your child and try to help him. Would he be where he is now, getting a diagnosis and some intervention, if you hadn't done your best? Blame and guilt will slow down your effectiveness and achieve absolutely nothing. It's natural for us to do this because sometimes we can find a clue that can help - but not in this case. Recognise that your guilt is coming from a desperation for things to be normal, and that isn't going to happen. But you have already come a long way down the path to helping your son. I looked to see how old he is - I was surprised at the answers you've got, when he's not even in his teens yet. You have done wonders. He's not perfect - that's not your fault. It's not his, either. It's just one of those things. All you can do is hold on for the ride, from here. We're here holding on with you. Marg [/QUOTE]
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