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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Harsh words and a tough order-how do we play this?
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<blockquote data-quote="everywoman" data-source="post: 22126" data-attributes="member: 1436"><p>My pat answers when difficult child was acting out were:</p><p>I'm sorry that this/that happened.</p><p>I'm sorry that you feel this way.</p><p>We all have to face the consequences of our actions.</p><p>I hope you feel differently soon.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Simple, straghtforward. If things excalated, I simply said:</p><p>Call me when you are in a more postive mood. I love you, goodbye. </p><p></p><p>Sometimes I hung up mid sentence. Not nice, but I got tired of being nice. </p><p></p><p>I don't buy anything for my son anymore. There are no treats. There are no extas---he will recieve presents on holidays, but no rewards. It didn't work. I could never do enough to satisfy him. His behavior didn't change. I quit!!! </p><p></p><p>CAMOM---I know you don't believe this, but taking back the power is so liberating. Stepping back and looking at the truth hurts---we all want to believe that if we just "do" enough, they (our children) will get better. It's not until we make them "do" that they are able to get better. It took me too long to learn this. Don't let it take you until after he is 18!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="everywoman, post: 22126, member: 1436"] My pat answers when difficult child was acting out were: I'm sorry that this/that happened. I'm sorry that you feel this way. We all have to face the consequences of our actions. I hope you feel differently soon. Simple, straghtforward. If things excalated, I simply said: Call me when you are in a more postive mood. I love you, goodbye. Sometimes I hung up mid sentence. Not nice, but I got tired of being nice. I don't buy anything for my son anymore. There are no treats. There are no extas---he will recieve presents on holidays, but no rewards. It didn't work. I could never do enough to satisfy him. His behavior didn't change. I quit!!! CAMOM---I know you don't believe this, but taking back the power is so liberating. Stepping back and looking at the truth hurts---we all want to believe that if we just "do" enough, they (our children) will get better. It's not until we make them "do" that they are able to get better. It took me too long to learn this. Don't let it take you until after he is 18! [/QUOTE]
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Substance Abuse
Harsh words and a tough order-how do we play this?
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