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Has anyone had their child upset that they gave birth to them
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 655161" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Halfquarter, welcome to the Parent Emeritus forum. I am so sorry for your pain. I hear it in every word you wrote.</p><p></p><p>My son, who is now 25, was very unhappy in the years following high school. I think playing soccer in high school kept him somewhat grounded, and he was functioning at a higher level then. After high school, he would slouch around, wearing a hoody that covered up a large part of his face, slump down in a chair, no direct eye contact, half-hearted responses. </p><p></p><p>Those months were the beginning of his rapid decline into (more) alcohol, drugs, getting arrested, flunking out of college, being almost impossible to be around etc. I am sure I still don't know the half of it.</p><p></p><p>I made all kinds of appointments for him at his pediatrician (still), then at psychologists and psychiatrists, and as I knew more, drug addiction counselors, etc. He either would not go at all once the day came, or would go and sit there and say nothing.</p><p></p><p>My hope was for him to be evaluated, receive treatment of medication and talk therapy, and go from there.</p><p></p><p>But he didn't want any part of it. </p><p></p><p>In your situation, can you involve his primary care physician and get him to see that person for a start? Will he go? Will he talk to them? </p><p></p><p>I learned over time that I could "lead a horse to water but I couldn't make him drink."</p><p></p><p>Halfquarter, those were very tough years and tough times. In my son's situation, he refused any type of treatment or help or change. He didn't want to change. Finally, I kicked him out (after trying a million ways to make it work with him here and in an apartment, etc.). He became homeless and was homeless several times over a period of years.</p><p></p><p>Today, he is doing much better. He is working full time+, has an apartment, says he doesn't feel depressed anymore, is talking about the future. He is sweet and kind. He says thank you a lot. It is like a different person.</p><p></p><p>My son's true self was obscured by his addiction. Was he ever truly depressed? I have no idea. What came first, the feelings of sadness and anxiety and unworthiness or the drugs? I am sure I may never know.</p><p></p><p>All you can do is try to get him to professional help. If he won't go or won't cooperate once he gets there, there is truly nothing you can do. Society will take over in time if he breaks the law, sadly. I hope it never comes to that for you.</p><p></p><p>In the meantime, what about YOU? For most of us, we are way way on the back burner for years and years as we struggle to help everybody else. The true way to peace for us is to start working on ourselves, to start being kind to ourselves, to "take our own pulse" and see what we need, today. Is it rest? Are we hungry? Do we need to sit in the sunshine for a few minutes? Do we need to talk a short walk? Sit in silence? What about writing a short gratitude list---just five things you are grateful for today? These small acts will change your attitude and will change your day. They sound oversimplified, but they are not. </p><p></p><p>Start right now, today, doing one thing for yourself every single day. Just take five minutes and do it. I promise you---it will make a difference.</p><p></p><p>Keep posting here. We get it, and we care.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 655161, member: 17542"] Halfquarter, welcome to the Parent Emeritus forum. I am so sorry for your pain. I hear it in every word you wrote. My son, who is now 25, was very unhappy in the years following high school. I think playing soccer in high school kept him somewhat grounded, and he was functioning at a higher level then. After high school, he would slouch around, wearing a hoody that covered up a large part of his face, slump down in a chair, no direct eye contact, half-hearted responses. Those months were the beginning of his rapid decline into (more) alcohol, drugs, getting arrested, flunking out of college, being almost impossible to be around etc. I am sure I still don't know the half of it. I made all kinds of appointments for him at his pediatrician (still), then at psychologists and psychiatrists, and as I knew more, drug addiction counselors, etc. He either would not go at all once the day came, or would go and sit there and say nothing. My hope was for him to be evaluated, receive treatment of medication and talk therapy, and go from there. But he didn't want any part of it. In your situation, can you involve his primary care physician and get him to see that person for a start? Will he go? Will he talk to them? I learned over time that I could "lead a horse to water but I couldn't make him drink." Halfquarter, those were very tough years and tough times. In my son's situation, he refused any type of treatment or help or change. He didn't want to change. Finally, I kicked him out (after trying a million ways to make it work with him here and in an apartment, etc.). He became homeless and was homeless several times over a period of years. Today, he is doing much better. He is working full time+, has an apartment, says he doesn't feel depressed anymore, is talking about the future. He is sweet and kind. He says thank you a lot. It is like a different person. My son's true self was obscured by his addiction. Was he ever truly depressed? I have no idea. What came first, the feelings of sadness and anxiety and unworthiness or the drugs? I am sure I may never know. All you can do is try to get him to professional help. If he won't go or won't cooperate once he gets there, there is truly nothing you can do. Society will take over in time if he breaks the law, sadly. I hope it never comes to that for you. In the meantime, what about YOU? For most of us, we are way way on the back burner for years and years as we struggle to help everybody else. The true way to peace for us is to start working on ourselves, to start being kind to ourselves, to "take our own pulse" and see what we need, today. Is it rest? Are we hungry? Do we need to sit in the sunshine for a few minutes? Do we need to talk a short walk? Sit in silence? What about writing a short gratitude list---just five things you are grateful for today? These small acts will change your attitude and will change your day. They sound oversimplified, but they are not. Start right now, today, doing one thing for yourself every single day. Just take five minutes and do it. I promise you---it will make a difference. Keep posting here. We get it, and we care. [/QUOTE]
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Has anyone had their child upset that they gave birth to them
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