Has anyone tried the "THE TOTAL TRANSFORMATION"?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by "B", May 5, 2008.

  1. Iam wits end and have read lots of books and was wondering if this is another book with just many different things to try or does it really have some good answers??
  2. Allan-Matlem

    Allan-Matlem Active Member

    I tried to get an understanding of the program from the internet. Whatever approach one uses , the important thing is to understand the philosophy behind it , how children's challenging behavior is viewed which will then dictate the type of interventions.

    I looked at this you tube and took note of the criticism of a psychiatrist.

    I agree with the author when he says that kid's difficult behavior can be ascribed to poor problem solving skills , but as the psychiatrist says the program then focuses on obedience and control rather than with communication and relationship and building strength or as I would put it , promoting cognitive skills , communication and problem solving and of course the relationship.

    It is very difficult to combine a working with , problem solving approach with a ' doing to ' - behaviorist approach , the message we give our children cannot be that we solve problems in our family by talking and working things out and then demanding compliance and giving consequences.

    For sure there are kids who respond to the structure behavior modification provides but ultimately we try to move away from behavior mod to problem solving.

    Personally I prefer approaches that build relationships , use mentors, older brothers , buddy -tutors etc and tries to model respect to people and kids , reaching out to a kid , rather than trying to get control through power and manipulation.

    I find http://Alfiekohn.org very helpful

  3. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    I believe I read this book & found it to be very parent unfriendly - by that I mean a whole lot of work. I don't mind work - however, I like things to work into a family setting.

    This didn't appear to be the case. With all the chaos our difficult children bring into our worlds I need user friendly or I use professionals to work at this level.
  4. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member


    Someone posted this same question about a month or so ago. I will give you basically the same answer I gave them. I believe that there are different strokes for different folks. What works for one may not work for another. I also believe that our difficult children are wired totally different that the typical kid, and if a particular technique is geared more toward your typical children, it may not necessarily work for our challenging children.

    I also believe that if there was a "magic transformation program" we would be lining up for it just as we would form a line for the "magic pill" that remaines so allusive.

    Proceed with caution because I believe there is a considerable expense involved and follow your gut.

  5. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I don't recommend or recommend The total transformation. What I find interesting in most books written for behaviors in children is that there is rarely a suggestion for parents to ALSO get into therapy and learn how to effectively communictate.

    A super friend here sent me a book (and the one for teens) and I'm telling you out of ALL the 100's things we dried and dozens of books read (and donated) the one that makes me know I can do better and shows me how to become a better parent is
    How to talk so your kids will listen, and how to listen so your kids will talk.

    If I listed everything I tried to help my son? It would be a long....long post. But if you feel it's good for your house and fits your parenting style and childrens behaviors? Go for it.

    I only have one book and theory that I don't recommend or will EVER have a good word to say about. And that's the one where you count out loud to let your child know you didn't mean what you said the first 2 times. (argh)

  6. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    Our christian radio station has been plugging this program, I thin it's on CD or DVD's. I chuckle everytime I here the add, same as I chuckle everytime I pass by Super Nanny on TV, and know in my head and heart that it's whole different bowl of wax when it comes to difficult child II, now Super Nanny vs difficult child I I would like to see, I could sell tickets, LOL
  7. Thank ya'll so much... Your information was really needed and really heard thanks again!
  8. Loved this one and how it rings so true...
    I also believe that if there was a "magic transformation program" we would be lining up for it just as we would form a line for the "magic pill" that remaines so allusive.

    Thanks again for your comments "B"
  9. missy7222

    missy7222 Guest

    Hi B,

    I own the Total Transformation program and it offers a great deal of advice. I don't know your parenting style, but it helped with mine for sure. He lists different parenting styles and how they can be ineffective, not wrong, just ineffective. The things he says in the program are just so true and if you listened, you would be like oh my gosh! The program comes with audio cds and a dvd and a workbook.

    Good Luck
  10. So Tired

    So Tired Member


    I also purchased the Total Transformation. It was before I found this forum.As Missy says, it was most helpful in helping me see the things that I was doing that was escalating my childs behavior. It is pretty expensive, about $300, and comes with a workbook and series of audio and video CD's. I found it very helpful in changing my behavior and parenting style and trying to figure out why I was clashing so much with my son. I liked the workbook style since it gave me new skills to practice each week and I felt like I gained back some control of the situation. For me, the $300 was not a hardship to pay and it was worth the money to feel like I had a "lifeline" of support. They also have a parent support line for $29/month and I have used that on several occations. It was nice to have someone objective to talk to.

    I hope you find something (or a combination of things!) that works for you!