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Hate...what is it?
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 668021" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>BINGO!!!! This is it, in a nutshell. They don't want to blame the mother for the f**d up family and the f^^d up adult children. They can't blame her. They want to think well of her. They want to think she was a reasonable, good person. They want to forget what she did. Now my brother was the golden child. It is possible he didn't see what mother did to the other two of us. <em>Although he was sneaky.</em> He used to read my diary and listen in on my conversations with friends and boyfriends. He continued to have isolation issues as I hit my teens and no longer had them. He lived vicariously through eavesdropping, at least on me. So you'd think he knew how mother treated me, but I'm not sure he did. His love for her is unshakable and she is saintly to him. She certainly treated him extra special.</p><p></p><p>But she was a b*****h to my sister and caused my sister mental health issues, just like she did with me. She caused brother issues too, although I'm not sure that, as book smart as he is, he is aware of her part in it. My mother did not abuse him. She ignored my sister. Even as an infant, she ignored her.</p><p></p><p>I believe strongly, and have spoken about it extensively in therapy with professionals, that I am the default person for our crazy family. It really began with our mother, who was the one who raised us as our father was not home often. He didn't help, but she was way worse and set the tone for divide and conquer, unpredictability and lack of rules, boundaries or nurturing. Somebody needed to be blamed for everything that went wrong in the family (shrug). I know it was my mother. They are lightyears behind me in understanding what happened. They haven't had as much outside help.</p><p></p><p>I think all of us represent our mother by proxy to our sisters. They can't hate mothers so they hate us.</p><p></p><p>May they go their own way and enjoy <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 668021, member: 1550"] BINGO!!!! This is it, in a nutshell. They don't want to blame the mother for the f**d up family and the f^^d up adult children. They can't blame her. They want to think well of her. They want to think she was a reasonable, good person. They want to forget what she did. Now my brother was the golden child. It is possible he didn't see what mother did to the other two of us. [I]Although he was sneaky.[/I] He used to read my diary and listen in on my conversations with friends and boyfriends. He continued to have isolation issues as I hit my teens and no longer had them. He lived vicariously through eavesdropping, at least on me. So you'd think he knew how mother treated me, but I'm not sure he did. His love for her is unshakable and she is saintly to him. She certainly treated him extra special. But she was a b*****h to my sister and caused my sister mental health issues, just like she did with me. She caused brother issues too, although I'm not sure that, as book smart as he is, he is aware of her part in it. My mother did not abuse him. She ignored my sister. Even as an infant, she ignored her. I believe strongly, and have spoken about it extensively in therapy with professionals, that I am the default person for our crazy family. It really began with our mother, who was the one who raised us as our father was not home often. He didn't help, but she was way worse and set the tone for divide and conquer, unpredictability and lack of rules, boundaries or nurturing. Somebody needed to be blamed for everything that went wrong in the family (shrug). I know it was my mother. They are lightyears behind me in understanding what happened. They haven't had as much outside help. I think all of us represent our mother by proxy to our sisters. They can't hate mothers so they hate us. May they go their own way and enjoy ;) [/QUOTE]
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