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Have a feeling of impending doom
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<blockquote data-quote="blackgnat" data-source="post: 664008" data-attributes="member: 13561"><p>Or am I giving myself too much power, in my own mind? Let's face it, nothing I've done so far has made a damn bit of difference.</p><p></p><p>It's just the feeling that it's TIME FOR HIM TO DIE keeps invading my thoughts. It makes sense. OMG , I can't believe I'm writing that. But I've just lost hope, so maybe I'm making it all about me.</p><p></p><p>Can anyone understand this feeling? I don't know how I would function if this happened, but I'm seeing so little effort from him, so little joy in his life (though at times he admits being content with his lifestyle, as long as his narcissistic needs are being met) such a lack of hope, that I understand why he wouldn't want to continue. He has often said that he would have committed suicide long ago (he has made half hearted attempts) if he wasn't such a coward.</p><p></p><p>Have I finally lost my marbles? There is an element of acceptance of this, from my point of view, of inevitability.</p><p></p><p>Please forgive me if I've offended anyone with my thoughts and words. I'm being brutally honest, but not sure if it's ME that's losing it, too.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="blackgnat, post: 664008, member: 13561"] Or am I giving myself too much power, in my own mind? Let's face it, nothing I've done so far has made a damn bit of difference. It's just the feeling that it's TIME FOR HIM TO DIE keeps invading my thoughts. It makes sense. OMG , I can't believe I'm writing that. But I've just lost hope, so maybe I'm making it all about me. Can anyone understand this feeling? I don't know how I would function if this happened, but I'm seeing so little effort from him, so little joy in his life (though at times he admits being content with his lifestyle, as long as his narcissistic needs are being met) such a lack of hope, that I understand why he wouldn't want to continue. He has often said that he would have committed suicide long ago (he has made half hearted attempts) if he wasn't such a coward. Have I finally lost my marbles? There is an element of acceptance of this, from my point of view, of inevitability. Please forgive me if I've offended anyone with my thoughts and words. I'm being brutally honest, but not sure if it's ME that's losing it, too. [/QUOTE]
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