Have any of you had recess taken away to help your difficult child?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by totoro, Aug 12, 2010.

  1. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    After how many problems K had last year, most of the severe ones were social and they got worse during recess.
    We decided with her therapist/Advocate that this may help. Considering her diagnosis's age/social age recess seems to do nothing but harm for her.
    There is no one to guide her and she does not have a 1/1. We do not want this either, why? Because she is too aware at school that she is different and to have someone escorting her around during recess would be too much for her.

    They are developing a new social skills group for her, we will see how this goes?
    The one they had her in for the past 2 years was fun for her but obviously taught her very little in regards to actual actions with the real world.

    So our plan we proposed is for her to go to the library after she eats lunch. We do not want her to have an option, just to go.
    She knows she has a hard time she has asked for this herself.
    They hesitated a bit about her going everyday. We asked why? There really is no reason and when we looked up other schools that have this kind of thing for kids being bullied and kids who feel lonely it works really well.
    We even offered to come hang out with her every day if this is what it will take.

    They agree there is a problem but I think they are nervous because we are the first ones to ask for this.
    I am in the process of setting up the IEP meeting for everything and our therapist/Advocate will come also.
    Has anyone done this or experienced this. Our advocate has quite a few kids throughout other districts that she has done this with and she says it has worked wonders.
    I am thinking also until K has the tools to really understand how to be social with her peers what is the point of setting her lose on kids that are starting to bully and be mean?

    Until we can find her a day school that works I just need to make sure she can remain stable and have the best experience possible.
  2. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    You do what you feel needs to be done. Not much else you can do. What she needs is structure, supervised play. Without that, then going to the library seems the best option, especially if she understands it is not a punishment but it is for her protection.

  3. barneysmom

    barneysmom Member


    I think it's a good plan to let K have a break where she can remain in balance. Recess is supposed to provide the kids with balance and respite from the school day. When I think about it, I think the notion that every child needs outdoor recess is a stereotype.

    If K knows she is going to the library, she won't have to get anxious about getting swallowed up at recess.

    My boys' teachers always kept them IN (finish up schoolwork) when they needed to go OUT. I was so docile in those days. GFG13 had to stay in a busy noisy lunchroom during recess to finish up work.

    Hope this works out for K. I think it will. The teachers/ staff will get used to it. Way to be advocating.

  4. aeroeng

    aeroeng Mom of Three

    difficult child in training started deliberately not handing in his reading logs. We asked him why? It turns out he did not want to go to the reading log events, puppet show, moon bounce, pizza party ect. He could not deal with the noise and commotion. When he was allowed to go to the library during the reading log event he was quite happy. He deals with recess only because it is very structured, but he would probably prefer the library as well. I agree it is well worth trying.
  5. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    It sounds like having a social skills class with a break in it to be a little active and get some energy out would be ideal for her, in lieu of regular recess with the other students.

    When I read the title of your thread my first reaction was to say "no, but then again nothing worked with my difficult child- he seems to have a built-in switch in him and when it's flipped one way, he's a difficult child and nothing makes a difference; when it's flipped the other way, he does things normally and doesn't need the extra measures or strategies".
  6. whatamess

    whatamess New Member

    The school should be providing her with the support she needs to be successful at recess. She will learn those social skills by being in the situation...with guidance. Perhaps the school hesitates because they know they should be providing that service to her. If nothing else, if she prefers a less active break time, they could have a small group in the library with her. What if they started a walking club and she and other students (and a para) walked a trail/track around the school and socialized while they walked?
  7. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I think part of the problem for our school is that they are having growing pains. They have had a ton of sped kids coming in the past few years because of their rep as a school that accommodates us. :) but this also brings about the problem of funding, following the laws and making sure everyone is trained for our kids issues.
    They want to give K everything she needs and have been willing so far, but we all know how this is. I know what the law is, but I don't want it followed if it is being done just to follow it. I want her to gain something from her therapies and accommodations.
    She already gets enough "exercise" with her adaptive pe and motor lab and actual p.e. Plus she does her social skills group on fridays, this will be the new modified one as well.
    She did a walking track during recess and it was so hot most of the year here 100-106 the next 10 days! That she falls apart.

    Our thoughts were she is gifted in reading loves it, she also loves helping. She can help the librarians possibly.
    She will still go to the early recess with just the 3rd grade this will avoid the extreme chaos of all of the grades. We will leave the early recess until it ones a problem,hopefully not. :)

    Thanks for the replies this makes me feel better we have so much going on with both girls I am second guessing every chalice I am making right now....
  8. whatamess

    whatamess New Member

    If your daughter likes the idea, you like the idea, and the school is willing to let her stay/help in the library, then it sounds like a good option.
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2010
  9. confuzzled

    confuzzled Member

    its very funny you ask this question---i'm considering something similar for my difficult child 2.

    i was thinking a "library/librarian helper" job too.

    but mine *does* desperately need the daily break so i'm on the fence about something that although she'd enjoy, might not be enough OF a break. it might somehow turn into "more work", if that makes sense. i do know her recess is completely unstructured and she pretty much just checks out of the whole thing these days...with the exception of the silly bandz craze, i dont really think she talked to anyone, and pretty much sat on a bench all year. when she was younger she was much more active and needed to running around....this year, she's too "old" for "baby games" :-D. she is in a 5-6 grade only school so its a tough situation for many typical teen's...its clicky, its obnoxious, its, well...you know.

    i also dont want to socially isolate mine (not like she isnt anyway, but still...)

    i think i'd personally like to try it at maybe 2 days library/3 playground and see, if i could get someone to observe both, which she does better with.

    i dont think it has to be all or nothing if you are unsure, but i do think its certainly worth a try....

    and personally, i think its a very simple request that any school should be able to accomodate...budget issues or not.
  10. tictoc

    tictoc New Member

    If this is what works best for K, then go for it!

    I'll tell you a bit about what has worked for our difficult child: He does have a one-on-one aide, which has worked well for him at recess. Last year, she coordinated games, like four square and duck duck goose, for difficult child and any other kids who wanted to join. This was VERY popular and lots of kids participated, so difficult child didn't feel singled out. It helped him learn to play by the rules and also helped him to make new friends. The aide continued doing this throughout the school year, introducing new games every few weeks.

    When she wasn't coordinating games, the aide shadowed difficult child. She intervened when necessary and tried to stay out of the way as much as possible.
  11. whatamess

    whatamess New Member

    This scenario is perfection in my eyes! (and what I tried to get the district to do for my difficult child)
  12. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I think it sounds like a wonderful plan for K! Anything to help keep her stable, and that sounds like a good solution for someone who loves to read and hates the playground.
  13. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    TicToc and Whatamess, I agree, that is a great scenario and action plan.
  14. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    wm needed the physical release but couldn't (still can't for that matter) master the social skills needed with-o a one on one. The IEP was written that wm would have a later lunch (during his class mates recess) then head out with a Special Education teacher & run laps. He got some sorely needed physical release while the teacher was working with wm on his living/social skills.

    To this day wm still has that time with one teacher or the other running laps (even @ 20 below) ~ it gets him thru his school day.