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Have Had Enough!!
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 626106" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Why didn't you call the police when she hit you? Violence is a dealbreaker in our family. I'm sorry she did that to you. If you hop on over to the forum of Parent Emeritus (kids 18 and older and your son is close), you'll see that this isn't that uncommon, especially if drugs are involved, which I am guessing they are...and probably more than you know, since our difficult children are masters at being deceptive. Call the police now and report her missing. They may not do much as she is close to being of age, but right now she's NOT of age so I'd ask THEM to help, not the family. Your family doesn't know what to do with her either. Don't use them as your backup support. It won't help you, hon.</p><p></p><p>After daughter's attempt to assault you for the phone, she would have to either work and buy her own phone and fund the service or live without one. Period. I am very strict about things like that. I would not pay for any electronics like internet or cell phone or a kid who breaks every rule in the house and has at seventeen already burned out all her relatives. She is probably going to bolt at eighteen, which is NOT a bad thing. You deserve to live in YOUR house in peace and quiet and your littler kids don't need to see your oldest one hitting you.difficult children tend to suck the oxygen out of the house and only THEY get attention. I would be planning her departure for her violence and disrespect and her obvious decision not to improve her behavior or go for any sort of counseling AND complying with it. You can't live this way. Your younger two shouldn't have to.</p><p></p><p>You didn't tell us her background, but she is to that age where it no longer mattters...she is old enough to choose how she behaves. Is she willing to go for help? If not, if she ever touches you again, or defaces your home, or takes your car without permission, or threatens you to the point it scares you, I'd instruct the younger kids to call 9-1-1 or I'd do it. Nobody should allowed to behave that way...it is against the law for one thing.</p><p></p><p>If you give her money, I'd cut off the money supply. She can get a job or be broke. I did this with my daughter when I found out she was using drugs and (shock) she got a job. All you need to do legally is to feed her the basic staple foods and give her a place to stay until her eighteenth birthday.</p><p></p><p>This is beyond teen defiance.</p><p></p><p>Hugs for your hurting mommy heart. Stand strong and set boundaries...if necessary call for help to protect yourself. Check her room when she's gone to see what she's up to, if she has drugs hidden (check the crevices, under mattress, in drawers, in unusal places), read her Facebook and her cell phone...sounds invasive but something horrible is going on with her and you can't help her if you don't know her secret world, the part she doesn't tell you about. And you have precious little time to legally be able to do anything at all to help her.Although I don't personally believe that elderly people should take on a crazed difficult child, you can't stop your family from doing what t hey want to do. Don't even try. You have control over only one person in this life...and it's you. You can't control your family's choices or your almost grown daughter, although you don't have to reward her horrible behavior by giving her perks. Although you can't control daughter, you can control your response to what she does.</p><p></p><p>Read the book "Boundaries" by Townsend and Cloud. GREAT book. It will help you deal with her.</p><p></p><p>My daughter was finally asked to leave at eighteen when we surprised her, coming home from a trip early, and found a rousing drug party going on in our home. She quit using drugs. Even quit smoking cigarettes, something I take seriously and did not allow her to do in our smoke free home. Today her life is good because she decided to dump the drugs and is basically a good person. She thinks it was the best thing that she was asked to leave...it lead to her leaving our town to be with her straight arrow brother (who was stricter than us) and gave her a chance to dump her scumbag friends. What are your daughter's friends like? Drug use? Stealing? Truant at school? Does your daughter go to school?</p><p></p><p>I am so sorry for your recent loss. Hugs!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 626106, member: 1550"] Why didn't you call the police when she hit you? Violence is a dealbreaker in our family. I'm sorry she did that to you. If you hop on over to the forum of Parent Emeritus (kids 18 and older and your son is close), you'll see that this isn't that uncommon, especially if drugs are involved, which I am guessing they are...and probably more than you know, since our difficult children are masters at being deceptive. Call the police now and report her missing. They may not do much as she is close to being of age, but right now she's NOT of age so I'd ask THEM to help, not the family. Your family doesn't know what to do with her either. Don't use them as your backup support. It won't help you, hon. After daughter's attempt to assault you for the phone, she would have to either work and buy her own phone and fund the service or live without one. Period. I am very strict about things like that. I would not pay for any electronics like internet or cell phone or a kid who breaks every rule in the house and has at seventeen already burned out all her relatives. She is probably going to bolt at eighteen, which is NOT a bad thing. You deserve to live in YOUR house in peace and quiet and your littler kids don't need to see your oldest one hitting you.difficult children tend to suck the oxygen out of the house and only THEY get attention. I would be planning her departure for her violence and disrespect and her obvious decision not to improve her behavior or go for any sort of counseling AND complying with it. You can't live this way. Your younger two shouldn't have to. You didn't tell us her background, but she is to that age where it no longer mattters...she is old enough to choose how she behaves. Is she willing to go for help? If not, if she ever touches you again, or defaces your home, or takes your car without permission, or threatens you to the point it scares you, I'd instruct the younger kids to call 9-1-1 or I'd do it. Nobody should allowed to behave that way...it is against the law for one thing. If you give her money, I'd cut off the money supply. She can get a job or be broke. I did this with my daughter when I found out she was using drugs and (shock) she got a job. All you need to do legally is to feed her the basic staple foods and give her a place to stay until her eighteenth birthday. This is beyond teen defiance. Hugs for your hurting mommy heart. Stand strong and set boundaries...if necessary call for help to protect yourself. Check her room when she's gone to see what she's up to, if she has drugs hidden (check the crevices, under mattress, in drawers, in unusal places), read her Facebook and her cell phone...sounds invasive but something horrible is going on with her and you can't help her if you don't know her secret world, the part she doesn't tell you about. And you have precious little time to legally be able to do anything at all to help her.Although I don't personally believe that elderly people should take on a crazed difficult child, you can't stop your family from doing what t hey want to do. Don't even try. You have control over only one person in this life...and it's you. You can't control your family's choices or your almost grown daughter, although you don't have to reward her horrible behavior by giving her perks. Although you can't control daughter, you can control your response to what she does. Read the book "Boundaries" by Townsend and Cloud. GREAT book. It will help you deal with her. My daughter was finally asked to leave at eighteen when we surprised her, coming home from a trip early, and found a rousing drug party going on in our home. She quit using drugs. Even quit smoking cigarettes, something I take seriously and did not allow her to do in our smoke free home. Today her life is good because she decided to dump the drugs and is basically a good person. She thinks it was the best thing that she was asked to leave...it lead to her leaving our town to be with her straight arrow brother (who was stricter than us) and gave her a chance to dump her scumbag friends. What are your daughter's friends like? Drug use? Stealing? Truant at school? Does your daughter go to school? I am so sorry for your recent loss. Hugs!!! [/QUOTE]
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