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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 666792" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Yes, these kinds of relationships are baffling. </p><p>Perhaps Eminem pegged it in his "Love the Way You Lie" song- </p><p>"Now I know we said things, did things</p><p>That we didn't mean and we fall back into the same patterns</p><p>Same routine, but your temper's just as bad, as mine is</p><p>You're the same as me, but when it comes to love, you're just as blinded</p><p>Baby please come back, it wasn't you,</p><p>Baby it was me, maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems</p><p>Maybe that's what happens When a tornado meets a volcano</p><p>All I know is I love you too much, to walk away now"</p><p></p><p>It is part of an ongoing "drama-go-round" of action and reaction, these people are used to living with extreme dysfunction. I see it ingrained in the grandchildren, they seem to crave the turmoil. If it is too peaceable, they are "bored" and wind up picking fights at one another, not normal sibling tiffs, but all out shouting. It is disturbing. I wonder if it is a genetic trait in some, then slowly over time accepted by their mates? They say abusive people can spot their "relationship victims" in a crowd. I guess in the end the psychology of it all is very complex.</p><p></p><p>What I do know is that I cannot change what is and I am learning about "loving detachment", where I can distance myself from the destructive patterns, yet continue to love my daughter and grandchildren without trying to step in and "fix" things.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 666792, member: 19522"] Yes, these kinds of relationships are baffling. Perhaps Eminem pegged it in his "Love the Way You Lie" song- "Now I know we said things, did things That we didn't mean and we fall back into the same patterns Same routine, but your temper's just as bad, as mine is You're the same as me, but when it comes to love, you're just as blinded Baby please come back, it wasn't you, Baby it was me, maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems Maybe that's what happens When a tornado meets a volcano All I know is I love you too much, to walk away now" It is part of an ongoing "drama-go-round" of action and reaction, these people are used to living with extreme dysfunction. I see it ingrained in the grandchildren, they seem to crave the turmoil. If it is too peaceable, they are "bored" and wind up picking fights at one another, not normal sibling tiffs, but all out shouting. It is disturbing. I wonder if it is a genetic trait in some, then slowly over time accepted by their mates? They say abusive people can spot their "relationship victims" in a crowd. I guess in the end the psychology of it all is very complex. What I do know is that I cannot change what is and I am learning about "loving detachment", where I can distance myself from the destructive patterns, yet continue to love my daughter and grandchildren without trying to step in and "fix" things. [/QUOTE]
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