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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 666894" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>We are glad to have you here, Leafy! Please know that you are welcome to post as often as you want, as much as you need. Friends and family get tired of hearing about it, and they can be very critical even though they don't know the half of it and couldn't begin to cope with it. We have been through it in the most real and literal way, so we understand that a place to spill your heart out, vent, ask questions and generally just get support is what this is all about. Of course you are encouraged to offer support to others, but only when/if you are ready. Some of us come here so worn down and depleted that we are just unable to reply to others posts for a period of time. That is perfectly fine here. When you are ready, you can reply to others. There is no rush. </p><p></p><p>I am glad that you are seeing that your young son has needs that must be met and are not. For parents, esp moms, this is often the realization that makes us stop and decide "No more". I am glad you have already had counseling for your son and will offer it again. That will help him cope with this and NOT create a conflama driven life for himself. </p><p></p><p>I ran across a quote from Maya Angelou that I thought you might like: "When people show you what they are believe them."</p><p></p><p>I just thought this might be an interesting thing to keep in mind when dealing with your daughter, her husband/boyfriend/SO/whatever, and your grandkids. It reminds me to look at and deal with people as they are and not as I wish they were. </p><p></p><p>Maya Angelou is also the creator of one of my favorite words: Conflama. Conflict + Drama = Conflama</p><p></p><p>Conflama describes what our difficult children cannot seem to live without - there MUST be a fight or other highly charged situation going on or they do not know how to handle life. </p><p></p><p>Just a few thoughts.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 666894, member: 1233"] We are glad to have you here, Leafy! Please know that you are welcome to post as often as you want, as much as you need. Friends and family get tired of hearing about it, and they can be very critical even though they don't know the half of it and couldn't begin to cope with it. We have been through it in the most real and literal way, so we understand that a place to spill your heart out, vent, ask questions and generally just get support is what this is all about. Of course you are encouraged to offer support to others, but only when/if you are ready. Some of us come here so worn down and depleted that we are just unable to reply to others posts for a period of time. That is perfectly fine here. When you are ready, you can reply to others. There is no rush. I am glad that you are seeing that your young son has needs that must be met and are not. For parents, esp moms, this is often the realization that makes us stop and decide "No more". I am glad you have already had counseling for your son and will offer it again. That will help him cope with this and NOT create a conflama driven life for himself. I ran across a quote from Maya Angelou that I thought you might like: "When people show you what they are believe them." I just thought this might be an interesting thing to keep in mind when dealing with your daughter, her husband/boyfriend/SO/whatever, and your grandkids. It reminds me to look at and deal with people as they are and not as I wish they were. Maya Angelou is also the creator of one of my favorite words: Conflama. Conflict + Drama = Conflama Conflama describes what our difficult children cannot seem to live without - there MUST be a fight or other highly charged situation going on or they do not know how to handle life. Just a few thoughts. [/QUOTE]
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