Have no idea if anyone has noticed I have been a bit MIA...but

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by DammitJanet, Jul 11, 2010.

  1. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I have not been feeling very well lately. No Star didnt drive up to reinfect me with meningitis...lol.

    Taking a deep breath....if you get bored easily, read something else!

    Ever since I got out of the hospital when they screwed up all my medications in 12/2008, they just dumped me back on everything without titrating me back up. Also when I talked to my psychiatrist about the delusions and depersonalization I was feeling, he just stuck me on increased seroquel and said it was normal and would go away. I dont know if it will or not, he just increases my seroquel every few months! Then about six months ago he put me on wellbutrin because I wanted to stop smoking but also I was having fatigue and a bit of depression...ok more than a bit. But....Im bipolar, AD's have been bad to me!....so...lets put more seroquel on board!

    That was a disaster. I got angry and more depressed. And I couldnt sleep. Weight gain is going through the roof.

    So...we go back. Now...my pain is going through the roof. My hands are now on fire. I have never had a problem with my fingers unless I jammed on or something. Now I can hardly bend my fingers without extreme pain. Typing is killing me. I hurt my fingers picking up a glass to drink out of. Holding a plate to wash it is horrible. GP put me on arthrotec. I also got put on Cymbalta by psychiatrist when I told him I was in so much pain. Then...yes...higher seroquel.

    I took cymbalta for two weeks and had to stop. I think I have serotonin syndrome.

    • Agitation or restlessness
    • Confusion
    • Rapid heart rate
    • Dilated pupils
    • Loss of muscle coordination or twitching muscles
    • Heavy sweating
    • Diarrhea
    • Headache
    • Shivering
    • Goose bumps
    I have almost all of these signs. My chest feels like Im having a heart attack but if I was I would be dead. I cant make a lucid thought outloud because my words escape me. Writing is easier because I can come back to it. I had myself tested for menopause because of the hot/cold thing. Oh and the diarrhea. Embarrassing. Lets just say I thought I was going to have to live in the Food Lion bathroom until Tony got home from work because I didnt make it in time. Thankfully we found Cory.

    But honestly, I would rather have meningitis again rather than how I feel now. I want to kill either myself or someone else. Im not real picky who either. I actually am plotting in my mind how wonderful it would feel to march Tony into the woods and make him kneel before me and I could blow his brains out. He is making me real mad right now because he isnt treating me nice. I cant even explain it.

    I just sit around crying all the time. I cant figure out why. Its got to me medication-wise. I think I need to do a medication wash and then see what is needed.
  2. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Janet, in all honesty, if I were you I would check myself into a psychiatric hospital to have a complete medication wash done. You are on a lot of medications and some of them conflict with others you are taking
  3. gcvmom

    gcvmom Here we go again!

    Actually, yeah, I did notice! I thought maybe you went back to Difficult Child for the fireworks, lol!

    Would you please, Please, PLEASE go see your doctor in the morning??? PLEEEEEZE???! Something is wrong, and you may have nailed on the head with the serotonin syndrome... very worrisome, Janet. Get thee to a doctor, PRONTO!
  4. 1905

    1905 Well-Known Member

    Janet I'm truly sorry you're dealing with this. I take Serequil when I am having exremely bad anxiety- I take 50 mg's -my prescription says up to 4x a day. Once however, in a p-hospital they gave me 300mgs. I was off the wall, completely wired and literally UP ALL NIGHT, completely freaked out. Now if I only take 50, I'm relaxed and mellow. I never take it 4 times a day, at the most, twice a week. I think too much Serequil is a bad thing and maybe they are giving you too high a dose.

    Go right to the doctors office, bring all your medications, tell them exactly whats going on, and how you feel. Maybe see someone else. Also see a p-doctor. Right away. Maybe you can go to the ER, they have one on duty. Don't dress up, my sister in law goes to the dr. always dressed to the nines. She puts on her best outfit and all her make-up, the doctors NEVER take her seriously and don't think she's sick because she comes in looking like that.

    I hope you feel better soon.
  5. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Absolutely you have been missed. I am sorry the medication change has taken such a turn. I do hope you will get thee to the doctor or hospital for a medication wash pronto!
  6. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    Upallnight is right about dressing up. Make sure you LOOK sick or no one will take you seriously. Docs figure if you are well enough to put on nice clothes you are not sick, stupid reasoning to be sure.

    I really think many of your problems are from the seroquel. The side effects can do many of the problems you are having. Some people do not react to a too high dose by becoming drowsy or passing out. Instead they get wired and angry. It isn't well documented though.

    You NEED a medication wash. With the medications you are on it may have to be done slowly for some medications. It is going to feel AWFUL while you go through it. I am SO SORRY. PLEASE have Tony take you to a psychiatric hospital or to a doctor you can TRUST for help with this. Seroquel is a great medication for many things, but it is not the be all and end all of medications. I am sorry about the incident at Food Lion. I have had problems like that a time or two and they are NOT any fun.

    I had noticed your absence and was hoping that maybe you had just taken some time to do something fun this summer. I hate to think you are so miserable! Let us know if there is ANYTHING that we can do to help you.

    Get medical attention soon! If you need to, print out your post and take it to your doctor and to a psychiatrist. It is NOT okay for the doctor to leave you feeling like this. You can tell him I said so, or print my post out to show him if you want to.

  7. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I noticed too... but was hoping you were busy catching up with family, etc. I agree with the others and you: a medication wash is in order. {{{Hugs}}}. I've missed you.
  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    You've been very missed. Adding my agreement in with the others-please go to the doctor's today. Gentle hugs and prayers you'll be feel much better soon.
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, Janet, what a mess. I am so sorry. I agree: I think I need to do a medication wash and then see what is needed.
    Hey, you'd get a break from Tony! ;)
    In all seriousness. you cannot go on like this. Just reading your description made me feel your pain and depth of hopelesness.
    Get thee to a hospital. I have lost faith in your dr.
    We'll be here for you when you get back.
  10. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I noticed. I agree with a supervised medication wash. I'm concerned that you stopped the Cymbalta if you did that cold turkey, because it made me very sick when I missed just 2 day's dose, you have to titrate down off of that stuff.

    I hope you go to the doctor TODAY. Keep us posted.
  11. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    Janet, it must be frustrating to not feel like you should. I don't know what to suggest. You are a complicated situation. Just know I'm sending good thoughts and wishes. We always miss you when you aren't around.
    We love our Janet!!!!!!!!!!!:redface:
  12. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Oh, Janet. I'm so sorry you aren't up to par! Please make your docs take notice...

    We love you and miss you!
  13. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    Another vote for a medication wash in a psychiatric hospital. It's respite for you, time for more intense therapeutic relief, and safer medication changes. Either way, make sure you tell your psychiatrist all these feelings you are having. ((HUGS))
  14. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Yes, I noticed. I was hoping that something really fun was going on and we would hear an update soon. What an optimist I can be at times.

    Sending caring thoughts and hugs. You're a smart cookie and I'm sure you'll make the best decision. DDD
  15. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    (I tell to you......you needs a medications wash) I also tells to you --Don't want to have a world without you in it. Who else would tell me tales of the Tiara Toddler?

    I'm not sure what you have.....but if YOU want to kill something I can point you in a general South Westerly direction and Jamie can retrieve Mrs. Beezley.

    Hugs & Love
    I AM NOT A PARIAH.......Star
  16. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    Janet, if the hospital needs a reason to admit you, surely your description of wanting to hurt yourself or someone else will get you admitted right away.

    We miss you when you're gone. I emailed Ephchap last week asking about you. If you won't take yourself to the hospital today for you, then please do it for us. I will hope you are there right now getting help.

  17. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I have already contacted my therapist...or old therapist since my insurance wont pay for her anymore...sigh...to help me look for a hospital I would like. Isnt it just like me to plan my breakdown? LOL. I feel like I have enough control to decide that this is something I need to do for myself but I also have to do it at a certain time to fit into my schedule...lol. Have to be back home for Keyana's state pageant! Of course, I dont think any place would keep me that long anyway.

    One other thing. I am feeling so unappreciated by everyone here that I am thinking of just going in and not telling anyone. Just disappearing. Let them worry about where I am. I know, mean.
  18. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry you're feeling unnoticed and unappreciated, but you called the therapist. Hopefully she's gotten back to you, and you're already safely on your way. Many, many hugs and lots of love headed your way.
  19. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Hugs, hugs, hugs, hugs!!!!!

    Find a hospital and GO!!!!! Do not collect $200, just go directly!!!!
  20. emotionallybankrupt

    emotionallybankrupt New Member

    Absolutely. And I've always been told the key element is IMMINENT harm. If you indicate that you mean "now" and not "later," I really don't see how they could turn you away.

    I hope you can get this moving in the right direction soon.

    Yes, I had noticed you'd been a bit MIA. I, too, wish it had because you were having a great time doing something else. I hope you'll keep us posted!