Have we all become co-dependent? :0

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by goldenguru, Jul 26, 2008.

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  1. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    I just read through all 6 pages of the thread titled "OH SUSAN" authored by BBK.

    Ladies - I must voice an observation. It seems to me that this drama with Susan has been going on and on and on. In spite of well intentioned advise, and shared experiences, and resources - she continues to do what she does. Nothing has changed. And yet this site continues to support, and encourage and give advise ad nauseam.

    Perhaps we are all guilty of enabling Susan. Perhaps we have all fallen into the role of codependency and in doing so perpetuate this whole vicious cycle.


    Holding back from the need to rescue, save, or fix another person from being sick, dysfunctional, or irrational.

    Giving another person "the space'' to be him or herself.

    Disengaging from an over-enmeshed or dependent relationship with people.

    Willingness to accept that you cannot change or control a person, place, or thing.

    Ability to maintain an emotional bond of love, concern, and caring without the negative results of rescuing, enabling, fixing, or controlling.

    Ability to allow people to be who they "really are'' rather than who you "want them to be.''

    Based on a few of these points - are we doing her and her son any favors? Or are we in many ways behaving similarly?

    Food for thought.
  2. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    GG, I agree with much of what you have written.

    That said, I am going to lock your thread.

    I think your words and ideas have much merit so I would like them to stay so folks can read and mull over them...but I expect the subject will become personal again towards Susan and we've already been there done that...and I don't want to revisit that again after I just locked the other thread.

    Thank you for your thoughts- I think they are important.

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