Have you ever done anything...

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by bby31288, May 13, 2009.

  1. bby31288

    bby31288 Active Member

    so stupid that you start to think you are a difficult child. I'm trying to be not to hard on myself, but I made a really bad choice...sigh. I could cry...actually I am crying...
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Yup. I think we all have these days!

    Actually I have found that if I have a good cry and then wash my face with ice water I feel a lot better, then I can take steps to fix the damage or at least minimize it.

    Hugs... I'm with ya!
  3. bby31288

    bby31288 Active Member

    I really screwed up. Im not sure it is fixable.
  4. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Can you get into trouble over this?
    Is it a moral mess up or one that will ruin family?

    Can it truly not be fixed to just very hard to fix?
    Take a deep breath. I am sorry for what ever is causing you this pain.
    I hope it can be fixed and that you are OK?
  5. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    We all make bad choices. We are, after all is said and done, human. Don't be too hard on yourself. Face the consequences---and then move forward. That's all you can do. Hugs. It's hard to make a big mistake---but you will get through this.
  6. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I have sporked the mutt a few times myself. Somehow I got over it. You just have to figure out how to go on. Admit the mistake if that is the best thing to do. Sometimes it isnt the best thing. Fix what you can. Learn from the mistake and go forward. Some of my mistakes have been my best growing and learning experiences.
    Last edited: May 13, 2009
  7. bby31288

    bby31288 Active Member

    yeah, its a mess. It's hard to explain. Wrong, yes...morally wrong, probably. Will it ruin my family probably not. Thanks all. I do feel like a plain ol' jerk.
  8. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    The only person who never makes a mistake is somebody who's already dead. I've made plenty; lots of small ones, a few big ones, and a couple of gigantic ones. I'm sure whatever it is seems like a big deal now, but give it a couple of years and you'll probably be able to look back and, if not laugh, at least see that you've moved on.
    Good luck.
  9. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Janet...you might want to rephrase 'screwed the pooch' a tad.:tongue:

    BBY - everyone has their day(s). You learn from it and roll into the next day and hope you do better. Some of us...hummm...take a bit longer than others. I'm looking at the corners right now.

    Feeling like a jerk is actually quite normal. You feel like a jerk because you didn't balance your checkbook correctly and now you're overdrawn. You feel like a jerk because you forgot your mom's birthday. There are thousands of reasons why.

    Doing something morally wrong? Well, that is up to whomever is deciding what is moral. Only you can decide that.

  10. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Well...its a very common expression down here...lol. It gets the point across well. Let me think of a better way to say it. Sporked the mutt?
  11. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Big mistakes and I were very good friends. Deep breaths. It may look bleak now but it will look up.

    many hugs
  12. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Sporked the mutt??? Oh, my. We've got to work on your vocabulary. ;) (I'm hiding my spork collection at this point.)

  13. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Yes, and more than once.

    Bby, don't be too hard on yourself. We're all capable of bad judgement, bad decisions and really foolhardy mistakes.

    Thing is, you've recognized the bad judgement and mistake for what they are, so now you're in a position to do whatever you need to in order to lessen or fix the damage. All you can do is move on and try to do better.

    I agree with the others, that something that seems completely bleak and insurmountable right now will hurt less with time.

    I look at really bad decisions I've made as God hitting me upside the head, because I needed a really big hint to turn things around or make changes. As Janet said, these have been some of my biggest learning experiences.

    Good luck,
  14. bby31288

    bby31288 Active Member

    Thanks all! I appreciate it. I screwed up 2 of 3 kids with school, and ended up getting them suspended for 3 days each. husband, not happy. Technically I could be in really big trouble. Besides setting a really bad example for my girls.
  15. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    bby! I believe that things happen for a reason. I'm not saying look for the silver lining, but things happen because they need to happen.

    So you made a mistake. Happens to the best of us! I just chewed my 3 difficult child's out so bad that I truly believe that I "messed with their heads". Nothing I said was untrue - I meant every word of it - but some of it was concepts that adults would get and kids might not.

    I'm probably spelling it wrong but "que sera, sera"!

    The way I look at it, I've got plenty more screw-ups to make before I meet my maker!

  16. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    No one is perfect.

    Screwed up the kids with school? hmmm Done that a few times myself. I sometimes forget I'm a difficult child at heart. And heaven help me if I think a rule (or law) is ridiculous I will stubbornly NOT follow it. I also would not let my kids do so. School has a dress code. Let's just say my kids didn't comply with it much. Instead I went to battle with the principals. I won out everytime. Just by being more stubborn than they are. lol

    Now I look back and realize actually, it wasn't quite as big a deal as I made it out to be. But darn it if you want my girls to not wear pants that drag the floor then YOU hem the darn things or buy the expensive ones that have petite sizes. I didn't have the cash for the expensive ones, and I will not hem jeans!

    Ok. Will put this out there for ya.......

    Have you attempted to run down a teacher with your car? Repeatedly? Over a period of years?

    Then you're doing pretty good. As I have done so (with good reason) and will continue to do so probably as that difficult child part of me takes over whenever I see the man close to a street. No, I'm not really going to run him over.......but HE doesn't know that. *I'm better, I did intend to run him over at one point* ;)

    Very difficult child thing to do. Horrible example for my kids. But there it is. Many more where that came from. We do the best we can at the time. Sometimes that turns out to be all wrong, sometimes it turns out well.

    I've learned some valuable lessons from some awful mistakes. Face the consequences, fix it if you can, learn from what you did, and move on.

  17. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    I don't know what you did, nor does it matter......

    What I can tell you is that I don't know anyone who hasn't made a mistake with their kid or kids, or self, or life. Seems really bad right now, but the important thing is you are remorseful, and apologize....and deal with whatever comes down the road like a level headed adult.

    If you can't deal with whatever is going to come down the road level headed like? Then you need help. So what!?? Lots of people need help -

    So if you think you won't be able to deal in the future getting into a therapist or a doctor will go a long way to telling others you're truly sorry and working to fix yourself and not repeat whatever it is that you did.

  18. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Let's just say none of us would want a camera following us around daily.

    If someone were to make a list of all of my mess ups and mistakes, I could be burned at the stake in a lot of peoples eyes.

    If I sit and think about them all at once it makes me sick to my stomach.

    So I can't do that and I have to just do as the others have said.

    Just as strong as we are, we are also at moments just as weak.

    Be kind to your self.