but life really kinda stinks right now. Someone significant to our lives has died every two years for the last seven years. mother in law was recently diagnosis'd with terminal brain cancer and shouldn't live into 2013. I feel like I've pushed, pulled and fought to keep things on an even keel for Duckie during all this but it's harder as she's getting older and really understands life and death. I also feel like MY life has been put on hold. I keep getting back on track with my interests, start to cultivate friendships and connections in the community and, WHAM! My attention is pulled backed to family crisis after family crisis. I'm not proud of this but I am feeling very resentful. One of my friends is having a jewelry party tomorrow evening. I don't even particularly care for jewelry or these business parties but I'd like to go. But I can't because Duckie's been sick and husband will going to help with his mother. I don't think it's really this party but rather just having to regularly say "no" for so long. I'm not angry or upset with anyone in particular (except being extremely frustrated with father in law, another story) and I know none of this is being done "to" me. I'm tired of death and dying... Clarence, I want to live again.