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Having a hard time being nice
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<blockquote data-quote="Amity" data-source="post: 718162" data-attributes="member: 22179"><p>Maybe it is time to upgrade to Bipolar before 18, at least start on the road to stabling medications and see where that goes. </p><p></p><p>One thing I have been taught is that when they say things that aren't ok is not to react ( I know right like hello, how does one not react) your feeding him emotion that matches his. Misery loves company and the fight will help ease the stress and anxiety. He trusts you to still love him no matter how he behaves so he is abusing you. </p><p>Start being emotionless with your comments. when he says inappropriate things, Say "that is not acceptable language", " do not use words like that to talk to me", "not acceptable", " I'll listen when you talk nice to me". Do not engage, No means no and the sooner he understand that as concrete the better. </p><p> Just make sure you talk/listen to him when he is ready to talk with the right words. Help him with the right words to fit the emotions. <em> Example: I know you were frustrated with us not having things for Fin pancakes.</em> He may come back with an ugly retort. Ignore it as if he didn't say anything. <em>Lets brainstorm ways to handle that situation.</em> If he comes back with something disrespectful simply state that <em>when he is ready to talk to you like a person you are here for him till then you are done</em> (again use no emotion to say this). So hard but if you keep it up he will realize how he feels is important and will start to handle it differently to get what he wants (not a quick fix by any means but a battle worthy of energy). </p><p></p><p>Now thats all about words. damages to your home well that is venting in a destructive way. Breaking things may have you hot and bothered and that is a bonus, after all now you know his pain and maybe you will feed his need to get the feeling out of his head. He needs an outlet. Even if it is a destructive one. Punching bag, old anything he can hit with a stick, bat, whatever. Any safe place he can go and use it as his outlet place like a shed, garage or other? damaging things is not okay and between the words and actions he could be on a road to jail time. </p><p>No parent wants that for their child, but I totally get your frustration and feel of loss of control. I feel for you and wish I could bring your sweet son back to you 100% of the time!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Amity, post: 718162, member: 22179"] Maybe it is time to upgrade to Bipolar before 18, at least start on the road to stabling medications and see where that goes. One thing I have been taught is that when they say things that aren't ok is not to react ( I know right like hello, how does one not react) your feeding him emotion that matches his. Misery loves company and the fight will help ease the stress and anxiety. He trusts you to still love him no matter how he behaves so he is abusing you. Start being emotionless with your comments. when he says inappropriate things, Say "that is not acceptable language", " do not use words like that to talk to me", "not acceptable", " I'll listen when you talk nice to me". Do not engage, No means no and the sooner he understand that as concrete the better. Just make sure you talk/listen to him when he is ready to talk with the right words. Help him with the right words to fit the emotions. [I] Example: I know you were frustrated with us not having things for Fin pancakes.[/I] He may come back with an ugly retort. Ignore it as if he didn't say anything. [I]Lets brainstorm ways to handle that situation.[/I] If he comes back with something disrespectful simply state that [I]when he is ready to talk to you like a person you are here for him till then you are done[/I] (again use no emotion to say this). So hard but if you keep it up he will realize how he feels is important and will start to handle it differently to get what he wants (not a quick fix by any means but a battle worthy of energy). Now thats all about words. damages to your home well that is venting in a destructive way. Breaking things may have you hot and bothered and that is a bonus, after all now you know his pain and maybe you will feed his need to get the feeling out of his head. He needs an outlet. Even if it is a destructive one. Punching bag, old anything he can hit with a stick, bat, whatever. Any safe place he can go and use it as his outlet place like a shed, garage or other? damaging things is not okay and between the words and actions he could be on a road to jail time. No parent wants that for their child, but I totally get your frustration and feel of loss of control. I feel for you and wish I could bring your sweet son back to you 100% of the time! [/QUOTE]
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