I have to admit, I don't know how to be around my difficult child anymore. She is on her own. Certainly not living the way I would like her to be, but she hasn't asked to move back here nor has she asked for anything from us. She seems happy with her drifter way of life. Oh, and the "move"? Well, some one they know has the house now and needs to move out so three of them are talking about renting the house now. I don't think it is definite and they do expect her to help with rent and she has no job. Bobble head - I smile and nod. Anyway, I am so used to her manipulating everything that I am "on guard" around her when she visits. When she visited the other day she was up in her old room - everything is still up there. I thought she was going through her things, perhaps picking out things she was taking with her. But it was really quiet up there so I went to check on her and she was in her bed sleeping. Well, flashbacks of her "crashing" for days at a time came back and I woke her up losing my cool. I told her she will not even nap in my house until she has gotten treatment. I do not want her using my house to crash at. It turned into quite the argument with me accusing her of doing drugs again, which made her angry. But I told her after years of lies, it will take a very long time for me to believe anything she says anymore. But I made her go downstairs and sit on the couch as anyone else would who was just "visiting". Go figure after sitting on the couch watching tv for a little while, she fell asleep on the couch until dinner. After dinner I took her home. Since she fell asleep twice, I now have my doubts that she is clean. My best friend and husband think that she wants her freedom and enjoys being on her own, but when she wants to get away from it all she wants to come visit here. It's just as I said, I am on guard around her and always suspicious of her motives. I can't help it. I just don't know how to transition to a parent of a child to a parent of an adult. I'm always afraid she is going to try to weasel her way back in here, (though I am very confident in my ability to stand my ground about rehab first). I thought about asking her if she wanted to spend the night on Christmas Eve, because it is Christmas, but my goodness we don't need the drama. She is getting a Visa gift card for Christmas while her brother will actually have presents to open. I think that is just asking for drama. I will do stockings, but besides that, it will be a gift card. Besides, that also goes back on my word about her not sleeping here until she has received treatment. So, I will pick her up Christmas morning and bring her over here for the day. I am hoping to have a nice day playing games and spending time together. Christmas night we always go to the movies - this year we are going to see Little Fockers . After the movie, we will bring her "home" and then go home ourselves. Anyway, the point of this post other than my rambling is that I am having a hard time figuring out how to parent an adult child.