Yesterday Elsie came in the house saying difficult child 1 was trying to kill difficult child 2. The kids were all outside. I ran outside and difficult child 1 was waving tree branches around that had been pruned earlier. difficult child 2 is o.k. All the kids say that difficult child 1 was throwing sticks at difficult child 2 and trying to kill him. difficult child 3 is up a tree and tells me he is up there so difficult child 1 can't get him. difficult child 1 says he just felt like throwing sticks and asked difficult child 2 to move, and after he moved then he threw sticks. Yeah, not buying that one. Thursday difficult child 1 says somethings that difficult child 2 took to be a threat. One of the times was "I'll make you pay for that" and the other time I didn't hear husband did. husband said difficult child 1 was using a really nasty tone of voice with difficult child 2. difficult child 1 didn't know husband was awake and could hear him. His behaviors toward his siblings aren't getting better, and it scares me for him. He is getting older, and I'm not sure what to do anymore. It seems like no matter what I do it doesn't change difficult child 1's behavior. The only thing that stops him is supervision, and that is really hard especially as he gets older and resents it more. I'm taking this harder than any of the kids. I've started crying at random times. Things will go through my head like when husband plays with difficult child 2 that difficult child 1 would never let husband play with him like that. Then I start crying. I think my dream of him being able to have non- abusive relationships is dying. I think I just need my time of morning and then I'll get back in the fight. Right now though I'm not at my most stable. Thanks for listening.