RN0441
100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
My son has been in sober living/IOP for almost 3 months and has been sober for four months. YAY.
Last week we sent his car to him because we had no place to store it any longer, he was looking for a better paying job which he would use the car for and we want him to stay where he is long term after treatment. He does like it there.
He had been complaining about the place he was at for the past month for many reasons that are too long to go into but basically even though he was going to the three IOP meetings per week, working almost full time (making horrible money), following their rules and staying sober, he was not attending NA/AA meetings which are not mandatory and said some immature things to his therapist. I wrote about this in an earlier post. I ended up being in a few sessions via phone at this point. They even mentioned releasing him to me a few times which I felt was not appropriate.
After my husband discussed the situation with our son, he was going to turn this around but it just seemed he was being railroaded by the therapist and the director - both ladies. Based on this he was on their radar so to speak. I know this is due to HIM but he was there to get help for being that way to start out. They even said he was not going to be able to have the keys to his car when it was delivered. We agreed to go along with that.
My son then had the opportunity to go to a different sober living place with one of his roommates that he really liked. We decided to let him make the decision to go and find a new job. He said he knew he would be happier there. Of course I had concerns but felt as long as he was in sober living we were ok with it. I was so sick of hearing them complain where he was and him complain.
When he got to the new place he was upset and not sure he made the right decision. We told him that he had made the decision so he had to make the best of it or he could go back to the place he was at. He then said the next day that he had really bad anxiety about the change at first but is now okay with it.
The situation is now that he says he just wants to live "normal" and doesn't want to be in sober living. He was depressed at home and now does not want to use drugs. Most of the time he was sober at home but not doing anything with his life. We told him that this is all a process and we want him to stay in sober living for now where he has accountability and work steady for a while.
My husband actually told him today to not talk to me about negative things because it gets me anxious and depressed. Our son doesn't seem to understand how this effects me. Like any mom I want my son to be happy and somewhat settled. I am glad he is sober but it just seems to never end. The stress and worry is overwhelming.
Last week we sent his car to him because we had no place to store it any longer, he was looking for a better paying job which he would use the car for and we want him to stay where he is long term after treatment. He does like it there.
He had been complaining about the place he was at for the past month for many reasons that are too long to go into but basically even though he was going to the three IOP meetings per week, working almost full time (making horrible money), following their rules and staying sober, he was not attending NA/AA meetings which are not mandatory and said some immature things to his therapist. I wrote about this in an earlier post. I ended up being in a few sessions via phone at this point. They even mentioned releasing him to me a few times which I felt was not appropriate.
After my husband discussed the situation with our son, he was going to turn this around but it just seemed he was being railroaded by the therapist and the director - both ladies. Based on this he was on their radar so to speak. I know this is due to HIM but he was there to get help for being that way to start out. They even said he was not going to be able to have the keys to his car when it was delivered. We agreed to go along with that.
My son then had the opportunity to go to a different sober living place with one of his roommates that he really liked. We decided to let him make the decision to go and find a new job. He said he knew he would be happier there. Of course I had concerns but felt as long as he was in sober living we were ok with it. I was so sick of hearing them complain where he was and him complain.
When he got to the new place he was upset and not sure he made the right decision. We told him that he had made the decision so he had to make the best of it or he could go back to the place he was at. He then said the next day that he had really bad anxiety about the change at first but is now okay with it.
The situation is now that he says he just wants to live "normal" and doesn't want to be in sober living. He was depressed at home and now does not want to use drugs. Most of the time he was sober at home but not doing anything with his life. We told him that this is all a process and we want him to stay in sober living for now where he has accountability and work steady for a while.
My husband actually told him today to not talk to me about negative things because it gets me anxious and depressed. Our son doesn't seem to understand how this effects me. Like any mom I want my son to be happy and somewhat settled. I am glad he is sober but it just seems to never end. The stress and worry is overwhelming.