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Substance Abuse
Having a rough day :-(
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<blockquote data-quote="so ready to live" data-source="post: 690666" data-attributes="member: 20054"><p>RN- so sorry for the misery your son's situation is causing you. I do so respect your husband for voicing to son that it's too hard on you. My husband also learned to protect me that way-he always felt more angered by my son's actions, I felt defeated, what caused turmoil for son also caused turmoil for me. </p><p> I've not thought of it this way, Kathy's right. Detaching works in this for both sides.</p><p></p><p></p><p>I too resisted therapy for years, thinking it felt like one more thing I had to do when I was doing so much. I'm not sure if we learned so much "how to deal", but we healed from so much trauma by voicing how far we had gone to "help". In putting it out there, I became so aware that our lives were out of control, totally focused on our son. Had we truly become so enmeshed that we almost lost each other? Such a shock to see this.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Wow, so true. Steps forward in many respects. </p><p></p><p> He is so young, he may turn this around--If <strong>he </strong>wants it bad enough. Don't let yourself go down that drain with him, be smarter than we were, we can't get that ten years back. I am healthier mentally, having accepted that despite what our son says, he doesn't change. He must still be having fun at this point. When it's not fun anymore, he will change. But that's on him and him alone. Know that many of us empathize with you today. You'll make it through, you're stronger than you think. Prayers.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="so ready to live, post: 690666, member: 20054"] RN- so sorry for the misery your son's situation is causing you. I do so respect your husband for voicing to son that it's too hard on you. My husband also learned to protect me that way-he always felt more angered by my son's actions, I felt defeated, what caused turmoil for son also caused turmoil for me. I've not thought of it this way, Kathy's right. Detaching works in this for both sides. I too resisted therapy for years, thinking it felt like one more thing I had to do when I was doing so much. I'm not sure if we learned so much "how to deal", but we healed from so much trauma by voicing how far we had gone to "help". In putting it out there, I became so aware that our lives were out of control, totally focused on our son. Had we truly become so enmeshed that we almost lost each other? Such a shock to see this. Wow, so true. Steps forward in many respects. He is so young, he may turn this around--If [B]he [/B]wants it bad enough. Don't let yourself go down that drain with him, be smarter than we were, we can't get that ten years back. I am healthier mentally, having accepted that despite what our son says, he doesn't change. He must still be having fun at this point. When it's not fun anymore, he will change. But that's on him and him alone. Know that many of us empathize with you today. You'll make it through, you're stronger than you think. Prayers. [/QUOTE]
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Having a rough day :-(
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