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General Parenting
Having a sad night tonight
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<blockquote data-quote="OTE" data-source="post: 18682"><p>It's going to get better, not worse. I can promise that. Part of your problem now is that you're worried if it's going to work out, if they're going to know what to do, do the right thing and so forth. You'll find those things out in time and that worry will go away.</p><p></p><p>You'll always miss him. The kids are so young that they'll adapt quickly, more than you will for sure. So the kids' fears will go away and they'll be more relaxed. That will help you relax.</p><p></p><p>My therapist says I'm really good at "compartmentalizing" and that's what helps me keep some sanity, little that it is. You've got little ones and need to keep focused on them when difficult child is gone. Set aside some time every day to think about difficult child, cry, have a meltdown, whatever. The rest of the time try to put the worry thoughts aside and focus on the little ones. Put your effort and all yout thoughts into doing everything you can to make them happy, healthy kids and working on your marriage.</p><p></p><p>Yes, it really will get better.</p><p></p><p>I know I said this before but I'll say it again anyway. This is NOT permanent. This is temporary. He will come home. In your mind pretend it's just a 3 mo visit. Talk to him now about how you and he are going to keep in touch. Promise a good night phone call every night and a note every day, just something short. Have him do the same, talk to him about what he can draw on the note and say in it. Use this time to be happy, not sad. remember that life is what you make of it. This time is the same. If you suggest to your kids that this is sad and horrible then that's what they'll feel.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="OTE, post: 18682"] It's going to get better, not worse. I can promise that. Part of your problem now is that you're worried if it's going to work out, if they're going to know what to do, do the right thing and so forth. You'll find those things out in time and that worry will go away. You'll always miss him. The kids are so young that they'll adapt quickly, more than you will for sure. So the kids' fears will go away and they'll be more relaxed. That will help you relax. My therapist says I'm really good at "compartmentalizing" and that's what helps me keep some sanity, little that it is. You've got little ones and need to keep focused on them when difficult child is gone. Set aside some time every day to think about difficult child, cry, have a meltdown, whatever. The rest of the time try to put the worry thoughts aside and focus on the little ones. Put your effort and all yout thoughts into doing everything you can to make them happy, healthy kids and working on your marriage. Yes, it really will get better. I know I said this before but I'll say it again anyway. This is NOT permanent. This is temporary. He will come home. In your mind pretend it's just a 3 mo visit. Talk to him now about how you and he are going to keep in touch. Promise a good night phone call every night and a note every day, just something short. Have him do the same, talk to him about what he can draw on the note and say in it. Use this time to be happy, not sad. remember that life is what you make of it. This time is the same. If you suggest to your kids that this is sad and horrible then that's what they'll feel. [/QUOTE]
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Having a sad night tonight
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