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Having all of these mixed feelings
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 640459" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>GM, you've gotten stellar support from the warrior mom's.......I'm glad you are able to hear what everyone is saying.</p><p></p><p>Coming out of a highly dysfunctional background as you have takes a toll on our adult lives and leaves it's mark on us. A few of us have encountered that early abuse and we're here to tell you, although it 'ain't easy' it IS doable, you <em>can </em>overcome the past and learn from it and find your true joy. </p><p></p><p>I also believe you would benefit from therapy, it offers you a place to feel safe over time and to learn how to trust, to value yourself, to have compassion for yourself and to feel safe in the world. Certainly healing and growth can take place without it, it just makes it easier and shortens the suffering as a trained professional guides us to health and well being, to a place where we can make the choices in life that keep us safe and healthy, loved, peaceful and successful in the ways we define that word.</p><p></p><p>I have had a lot of therapy, with very, very good therapists and it has literally changed my life in a multitude of ways, all of which are positive. </p><p></p><p>The problem with abusive childhoods is that it colors our view of the world, our inner core was not developed in a healthy, intact, loving manner where we learn how to feel good about ourselves, thereby making positive choices that enhance our lives as opposed to harming ourselves. To love ourselves is such an overused expression it almost ceases to have any meaning........but if we don't love ourselves, we see life through a very different lens then if we do. If one doesn't feel safe within, if one doesn't have self compassion and self respect, self love and self acceptance, the choices made out of that can be punishing......we can end up treating ourselves as the abusers did.......we have to find ways to fill ourselves up with the nourishment, nurturing and love we did not receive as children. Once our inner core self receives that love, our entire experience of life changes. </p><p></p><p>I hear the heartache in your words GM, a heartache I am familiar with since I am a product of an abusive childhood too. I am so sorry you have had to experience what you have experienced. From my vantage point as someone a lot older then you, there are 'gifts' within our suffering.......which as we heal we become aware.......we learn a lot about ourselves and our courage, our strength, our resourcefulness, our resilience, our kindness, our compassion, our sorrows and our joys. It is a big ride GM, but one you are ready to take, and ready to come through...........we're here offering you our experience and a few signposts along the way.......to make your journey a little easier...........</p><p></p><p>Hang in there GM, you'll find your way.........you'll make the appropriate choices.........just take it one day at a time, when the time comes, you'll know what to do...........we're all here for you...........</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 640459, member: 13542"] GM, you've gotten stellar support from the warrior mom's.......I'm glad you are able to hear what everyone is saying. Coming out of a highly dysfunctional background as you have takes a toll on our adult lives and leaves it's mark on us. A few of us have encountered that early abuse and we're here to tell you, although it 'ain't easy' it IS doable, you [I]can [/I]overcome the past and learn from it and find your true joy. I also believe you would benefit from therapy, it offers you a place to feel safe over time and to learn how to trust, to value yourself, to have compassion for yourself and to feel safe in the world. Certainly healing and growth can take place without it, it just makes it easier and shortens the suffering as a trained professional guides us to health and well being, to a place where we can make the choices in life that keep us safe and healthy, loved, peaceful and successful in the ways we define that word. I have had a lot of therapy, with very, very good therapists and it has literally changed my life in a multitude of ways, all of which are positive. The problem with abusive childhoods is that it colors our view of the world, our inner core was not developed in a healthy, intact, loving manner where we learn how to feel good about ourselves, thereby making positive choices that enhance our lives as opposed to harming ourselves. To love ourselves is such an overused expression it almost ceases to have any meaning........but if we don't love ourselves, we see life through a very different lens then if we do. If one doesn't feel safe within, if one doesn't have self compassion and self respect, self love and self acceptance, the choices made out of that can be punishing......we can end up treating ourselves as the abusers did.......we have to find ways to fill ourselves up with the nourishment, nurturing and love we did not receive as children. Once our inner core self receives that love, our entire experience of life changes. I hear the heartache in your words GM, a heartache I am familiar with since I am a product of an abusive childhood too. I am so sorry you have had to experience what you have experienced. From my vantage point as someone a lot older then you, there are 'gifts' within our suffering.......which as we heal we become aware.......we learn a lot about ourselves and our courage, our strength, our resourcefulness, our resilience, our kindness, our compassion, our sorrows and our joys. It is a big ride GM, but one you are ready to take, and ready to come through...........we're here offering you our experience and a few signposts along the way.......to make your journey a little easier........... Hang in there GM, you'll find your way.........you'll make the appropriate choices.........just take it one day at a time, when the time comes, you'll know what to do...........we're all here for you........... [/QUOTE]
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Having all of these mixed feelings
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