having my first anxiety attack.....awful feeling

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by buddy, Nov 7, 2012.

  1. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I think I'm having my first anxiety attack. Im sitting in the parking lot of.the school I'm supposed to tour because admin at the current site think HE will be happier. I just read their website. Says ALL students at thisschool qualify for ebd programming. The building as a whole uses those school wide incentive programs that cause anxiety for autistic kids. I haven't stepped foot in the doors and it feels wrong. I'm only doing it to look cooperative but if there is no Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) programming then there is no Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) teacher. And sensory integration work?
    Oh God my heart feels like it will explode. How am I going to make it through this? Deep breath .....
  2. Ugh. I know how those feel. In through the nose and out through the mouth.

    Please know that I will be thinking of you and rattling beads for you.
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Pretend to be normal. It's how lots of us survive. Be polite, but ask the pointed questions... because the control of whether he comes here or not is still in your hands.
  4. pasajes4

    pasajes4 Well-Known Member

    Saying many prayers!!!!!
  5. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    Will say prayers for you. Remember, deep cleansing breaths. And like InsaneCdn says, it's still in your hands. You will ultimately control where your son is placed. Good luck.
  6. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I did it. The school is 100% ebd. I asked the teacher what his experience was and this is his first year teaching and he has an ebd cert. Oh but he was an ea for a kid with autism once and he knows a couple. The kids have solo rooms in that program. I felt like I had to run the gauntlet to get there though. Big loud kids in the halls though I walked past three in break out/seclusion rooms being monitored. Ick ick ick
  7. TeDo

    TeDo Guest

    By now, I'm sure the tour is over. How do you feel? Has the anxiety subsided?

    My guess is that it feels soooooo wrong and yet you are faced with the very real possibility that they will try to force you to "enroll" Q there. Getting to the parking lot is making it very real and you can't just put it on a shelf right this moment. I really wish there was something I could do to help. VERY deep, cleansing breaths. Slow in, slow out. Fill up the lungs AND the diaphragm before letting it out.
  8. Bunny

    Bunny Guest

    Buddy, I missed things. Why does the current school want Q placed in this school? I had hoped that the school he is in now would be a good fit for him and for you. I'm so sorry.
  9. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    What happens if you just say "no, won't work". If you refuse to even have a conversation about it (for all the good and valid points you know and don't feel like going over once again).
    Can they force Q out of his current school placement?
    *Maybe* you could stop being cooperative and act like a bulldozer. It seems like it's the only language the system might understand.
    If you know it's a waste of time, don't put yourself through it.
    Although not perfect, is it a real possibility to keep Q in his current school until 21? Or until YOU think you have found some better?
    I hope you were able to calm your nerves a bit. Have an enjoyable moment with Q.
  10. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Buddy... You know full well that Q's therapist and psychiatrist and other non-school professionals will NOT support a move to an ebd environment. This isn't just "your opinion". Bring them in on this, update them on what is going on.
  11. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Budy, I am so sorry. I am glad you wnet on the tour though. Now you know 10000% that this is NOT the school for Q. I am so sorry the current school is giving you guys such a hard time. You both just need a break. HUGS
  12. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Bunny the sp ed director and the director of the program they put him in left. It is a beautiful new school and q (and several others ) are being pushed out so they don't mess it.up. it's just sickening. Today the new director asked why Quin was ever put in her program. Is.she.kidding ...SHE has.the intake recerral, .read the notes
    There are no traumatic brain injury programs! But he is Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and that is his primary dis. Ed. Category so ignoring that? I am not ok with that.
  13. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

  14. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I'm probably posting this on the totally wrong thread... but you know me, right Buddy?
    I'm not posting this here to increase your anxiety.

    That statement is absolutely KEY.
    THAT is what he needs.
    It doesn't exist? Create it.

    No, not you. But yes, create it.
    Some one or some service club out there is looking for a "cause" that others haven't done yet.
    And nobody could fault "education for Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) kids" as a front-line media-worthy feel-good cause.
    It's right up there with motherhood and apple pie.
    Kids with disabilities no less - not even "born this way".

    See the soapbox? It's there... and Q is a great poster-child.

    Of course... how? how to find that person/group? They ARE out there...
  15. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Call Obama! Day late and a dollar short for Romney.
  16. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    I didn't think education was a federal mandate, Janet... it isn't here, either... ;)
  17. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Yes I can say no way and certainly I have said I disagree and the advocate drafted a letter stating our upset and tht we want an independent evaluation. Since it's not our home district, our dist has to approve. This district has never allowed anyone because they ARE the experts but in this case he is a totally unique learner. So.....our dist has already said yes and they will look like jerks not to use her...besides its billed back to Q's M.A.

    The other difference here and why my back is against the wall is because our district is not a member of this special needs co-op district. If.they were they'd have no.choice but to treat him as.their own. But they let our district buy one spot for q. They morally have an obligation, do have to.follow due.process but could say they just don't have anything for him by manipulating data and forming a united front and its ultimately our home district that has responsibility .

    Well we all know what they (don't ) have to offer him. Lots of.ebd but....

    So.the.director of.the.current program said that their CIP program. (What q has.always been in ....a mainly autism program .....is all kids with aspergers and their sun program is all non verbal kids so where are all the smack dab in the middle of the spectrum kids? Are they kidding? . She was so full of double speak. She said were not trying to kick him out..we just want you to look. I said well that's not what you said at the meeting.

    IC we.did talk about q being a kid who needs an individual program. Our district pays big bucks for q to be there. So....the ranch owner said they did indeed call her! So maybe? ???

    Tonight we were there and after an awful morning....wow was I proud of him. An 11year old was there with him and the fed and watered the horses. Then they had to use a sledge hammer (my heart! But he did.great!) To break up a.big.wood thing that had rotted. He initiated taking turns and from 5:30 to 9:00 he worked and taught this girl how to do things. They trained one horse and q used the whip ( it never touches the horse they just see it and trot ) and they got.him.to.trot and.stop etc...this girl was only on her second day. She has no special needs and peer.mentors in middle school so was great with Q.

    THIS is.what they don't get. If.he is.with appropriate kids he does great and this was NOT all fun and games. The.owner has diabetes and arthritis and she can't do many of the jobs now. She needs them to really work. I was really proud of him.
  18. Malika

    Malika Well-Known Member

    Oh, fingers crossed for the ranch, Buddy. This would be such a good solution, and truly good for Q... can sense prevail amid all the bureaucratic and administrative nightmare? Here's truly hoping...
  19. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    Buddy, hang on to this knowledge that Q CAN do wonderful. It does not mean it will be wrinkle free, but he has a great potential if only given the appropriate setting.
    There is a place for Q in this world, let's all pray you and Q find this special place that will make him happy and productive sooner rather than later.
    Q sounds a lot like other teenagers: they need to be treated with respect and given increased appropriate responsibilties. I do believe in the value of hard work to nourish self esteem.
    I'm glad you had a positive experience to help counter balance the day.
  20. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Ranch, ranch, ranch!!!!