Having trouble finding the warm fuzzies this Christmas....

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Mom2oddson, Dec 12, 2011.

  1. Mom2oddson

    Mom2oddson Active Member

    And it's not so much that I'm busy with everything. It is more the emotional baggage seems to get heaviest this time of year.

    Ant is being a difficult child to the max. He's got 2 bench warrants now but refuses to turn himself in cuz he's trying to figure out the right days to be in jail. Like he has so much pressing issues in his life??? Oh, but he started texting last night cuz he wants to take husband & I to lunch next weekend. Guess with Christmas getting close he wants to make sure he gets something. I have a lot of anger still over his actions.

    Steph is doing great. This family (the B's) that she found to live with seems really nice. And they take good care of her. She's doing good, she's clean and sober, she's set to graduate. And if she loses enough weight, she will be joining the Navy after graduation. She spends every Sunday with us and it's wonderful. But, the B's want her to spend Christmas Day with them as a family and they have lots of gifts for her.... and my heart breaks over that. It's a reminder that my Daughter has found another family. So it's happy and sad.... so it's a bittersweet feeling.

    The happy relaxed Christmas day that has been a tradition with my parents won't happen this year. Normally, my folks come over Christmas day and just relax. We have a nice dinner and then.... nothing. Dad and husband fall asleep on the couch from eating too much. And Mom and I just have a relaxing talk. But this year with Grandma and Grumpus....neither can make it up the stairs at my house, so it has to be at Mom's. Grumpus has on a full-rage Grump right now....it's not going to be good on Christmas day. I know he doesn't like prime rib or anything like that, so I'm planning on making him a cheeseburger which he loves. Grandma is having a colossal fit because that is not what you eat on Christmas day and she will not have him eating that @#$% for Christmas dinner. See why I'm not looking forward to Christmas day.

    Oh... and let's not forget that the very next day I have an Open House wedding Reception to do. Where, oh lucky me, will get to see family members that don't talk to me. BUT...the hotel has a pool. And if I have to, I will rent a room for the night so that I can take my niece and nephews swimming when those people arrive. Let them do their "Oh aren't we the best" routine without me present.

    And let's add to this that the company I'm working for, the one that was supposed to give me a 14% raise in August and still hasn't, is switching our pay weeks...so the first payday in Jan will be a one week check instead of a two week check. I basically loss a weeks pay right at christmas time. Oh joy oh joy!!

    I love Christmas! I love baking goodies for everyone and they really love them too. Already one of husband's Aunts has asked if I was doing it again this year...they look forward to it every year. To me, it's a way of giving people a piece of my heart. Every item I crochet or knit has prayers for the receiver woven into the item. It makes me happy. I don't do it for any other reason then it makes ME happy to do it.

    I'm just not finding my normal happiness in it this year. Maybe because I still have 3 SILs that have nothing to do with me...one of them refused the quilts I made for her kids. If anyone wants a small quilt for a baby girl....send me a PM. I found homes for the boys quilts. There is no peace between husband and his parents. Don't know if there ever will be.

    I guess the dysfunction in husband's family is most noticable at this time of the year. The rest of the year you can ignore it. But not now....and I think it's acting like a wet blanket to my Christmas Spirit. I've got my Christmas music going. I've got the DVR packed with Christmas movies that I watch every night. I don't know why I'm so down this year nor do I know how to change it.

    Oh...and I forgot, because of the way government contract money is working this year, we don't have the money in for January so there is a slight chance of a couple of weeks being laid off in the New Year. And....as I re-read this.... maybe I just answered my question of WHY I'm not so happy this Christmas Season.

    Any advice on how to find a little bit more Christmas Cheer?
  2. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    I'm kinda feeling the same way this year. I should be happy because neither difficult child is in jail or close to it; the grands seem to be doing OK. I've been baking and crocheting and wrapping and doing all of the things I usually do but it's kinda like I have to make myself do it as my heart really isn't in it. Not sure why. Took granddaughter to church yesterday and that helped a little but I'm still not really into it.
    Maybe a day out with my friends and a few margaritas might help.
  3. buddy

    buddy New Member

    Last year I absoluetly could not get in the mood. I was really not wanting any part of it.

    For me what helped: listening to Christmas music. I really like contemporary christian christmas music.

    doing one of my usual things, putting up little decorations....

    My tree did not go up until the last minute and that was unfair to my kid but I just couldn't do it. I also did not and will not put up my collectable nativty scene. I am afraid Q will grab and break something at this point. He had always been good and loved it but this year, I just dont know. Why risk it?? He knocked my TV over this weekend when I said no to buying a Santa Hat so I am thinking he has too much of a hair trigger right now.

    I didn't bake, but did buy christmas bakery cookies, we will be baking next weekend as a family..... it is a tradition.
  4. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Im sorry you arent having much Christmas cheer but I wondered how you were going to keep it up on your last post. It seemed like such a packed post. I would be too tired to have cheer! I hope Grandma will get over it and let Grumpus have his cheeseburger. I do understand that issue though. It is so difficult with aging relatives. That alone can get you down.

    Steph does sound like she is doing better but it really has to tug at your heart her being at another home on Xmas morning. Hopefully she can come to your place either Xmas eve or later Xmas day because it sounds like you will be busy at your parents on Xmas day anyway. Ant is just Ant...have any Ant repellant? LOL. I hear chalk around the house helps. (oh arent I clever?)

    I really do feel for you. This isnt turning out to be such a great holiday for me either. We have given out most of our gifts already. The only stuff left to give out are Keyana's stuff and we are still up in the air as to win we will see her. We are feeling a bit of trepidation about that. We hope we get her for as much time as we can. Or should we say her daddy gets her. We are feeling a very huge loss of our granddaughter. Thats not the best feeling to have at Xmas.