The last two days have been hard. Yesterday I took Carson to WalMart. He had 2 quaters saved up and wanted to use them in a "claw" machine. I reminded him that they are very hard to win. He didn't win the "prize". It was a necklace that he wanted to win for me. When he lost he balled up both fists and SLAMMED his fists on the glass. He yelled "This game SUCKS! It's a piece of ****!" He was VERY loud and angry. I tried to walk him away from the game. He wanted to try the game again when we left. I told him that because he lost control he wouldn't be able to play the game this time. He then stopped in his tracks. I kept walking. "Come on, Carson, lets go get our stuff". He then YELLED at me "I HATE YOU!" My heart broke. He has never said he hated me before. He has always said "you don't like me". 15 minutes later he was apologizing to me. Hugging on me, telling me he loved me. Today, at school he was told that he needed to write (allergic to writing) his spelling words 4 times each. He didn't want to. He told her that he didn't want to. She said "Well, you have to." He then called her a bit*h. He now has two more days of OCS (already spent 4 days in there). I just feel ill. I feel...defeated. I am mad that the County Special Education people have done ZERO testing for his IEP. They have until 11/11/11 to get it done. NOTHING has happened yet. I am mad because, although Carson was WRONG to do this...he has something WRONG with him too. And the Principal is an . He makes me feel so bad. And...and...and. I just. I'm so tired of it all. It's all so much work. And no one else is doing their part. EX carries insurance, he is supposed to be finding Carson a Psycologist that is on his plan. Carson's doctor said he needed to get in to see one ASAP. That was almost 6 weeks ago. I can't stop crying and that makes me mad at myself for being such a weenie.