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General Parenting
He Called Me Retarded, Mom ~ UPDATED ~
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<blockquote data-quote="On_Call" data-source="post: 27122" data-attributes="member: 3211"><p>difficult child's words, through tears, during dinner last night. We are sitting at the table talking about our day and difficult child startes instantly crying. He says a classmate at collaborative day continuously calls him "retarded", "gay", "moron" and "idiot". He said he knows "it wouldn't make any difference if he told a staff member" because the classmate would deny it and then be meaner to him next time.</p><p></p><p>Then, he said that he "deserved it" because he "made" the other child call him those things and hate him by behaving like he behaves. He cried and I could've cried. The fact that he's taking the blame for being abused is just awful. :crying:</p><p></p><p>As I was trying to tell him that nothing at all he could possibly do who justify a classmate calling him those things, husband was advising him to stand up for himself. EEK! I could just picture that - difficult child flipping out and then being the one in trouble with the consequences while his charming classmate goes about his business.</p><p></p><p>When difficult child calmed after his shower, I advised him to talk to his counselor about it. On the one hand, if he strikes back (even verbally) with the other child, difficult child will be in trouble. Also, when he goes to a staff member, he is told to "work it out" and not to "tattle" - or says he gets ignored immediately as if the staff member didn't even hear him.</p><p></p><p>I reiterated that he does not deserve to be called those names, etc., and that he was a good kid. I reminded him that all of his classmates have issues, as well. He said he just wants to "be friends with everyone" and wants them to like him.</p><p></p><p>Any been there done that Warrior Mom advice on this one? The munchkins have the day off from school today, but I am considering calling the CDT program and speaking to difficult child's counselor myself. difficult child certainly has his issues and he is certainly not an angel, but it would never occur to him to call a classmate an ugly name, so it is painful for him - and for me - to have him in this situation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="On_Call, post: 27122, member: 3211"] difficult child's words, through tears, during dinner last night. We are sitting at the table talking about our day and difficult child startes instantly crying. He says a classmate at collaborative day continuously calls him "retarded", "gay", "moron" and "idiot". He said he knows "it wouldn't make any difference if he told a staff member" because the classmate would deny it and then be meaner to him next time. Then, he said that he "deserved it" because he "made" the other child call him those things and hate him by behaving like he behaves. He cried and I could've cried. The fact that he's taking the blame for being abused is just awful. [img]:crying:[/img] As I was trying to tell him that nothing at all he could possibly do who justify a classmate calling him those things, husband was advising him to stand up for himself. EEK! I could just picture that - difficult child flipping out and then being the one in trouble with the consequences while his charming classmate goes about his business. When difficult child calmed after his shower, I advised him to talk to his counselor about it. On the one hand, if he strikes back (even verbally) with the other child, difficult child will be in trouble. Also, when he goes to a staff member, he is told to "work it out" and not to "tattle" - or says he gets ignored immediately as if the staff member didn't even hear him. I reiterated that he does not deserve to be called those names, etc., and that he was a good kid. I reminded him that all of his classmates have issues, as well. He said he just wants to "be friends with everyone" and wants them to like him. Any been there done that Warrior Mom advice on this one? The munchkins have the day off from school today, but I am considering calling the CDT program and speaking to difficult child's counselor myself. difficult child certainly has his issues and he is certainly not an angel, but it would never occur to him to call a classmate an ugly name, so it is painful for him - and for me - to have him in this situation. [/QUOTE]
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