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General Parenting
He Called Me Retarded, Mom ~ UPDATED ~
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 27667" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>From my observations, when a school has a high priority on "no tattling" then anything they claim about also being "zero tolerance on bullying" it total, unadulterated *&^%*&*. </p><p></p><p>You can't have both. To claim both, or to insist on "no tattling" is pure laziness on the part of the school staff. It then becomes institutionalised bullying and you rapidly descend into William Golding territory (aka "Lord of the Flies").</p><p></p><p>Children should not be expected to instantly understand how to deal with bullying themselves, appropriately. Nor should they be expected to understand the difference between telling an adult about something that is really distressing them, and simply trying to get someone else into trouble.</p><p></p><p>What may seem minor issues to an adult can be huge to a kid. Concerns shouldn't be automatically dismissed, nor should a child be automatically chastised for bringing a concern to a teacher. If, after the teacher checks it out, it is clear that the child IS 'tattling', or merely trying to get another kid into trouble and the story doesn't stack up, then it falls back on the teacher to try to sort out WHY a child is apparently falsely reporting. But if it's true, and extenuating circumstances have been explored and found wanting, then careful supervision is still needed to make sure the teacher has a full understanding. Sometimes apparent tattling can be a sign that something nastier is happening but the child simply is unable to fully explain the whole picture.</p><p></p><p>OK, I'm preaching to the converted here. We're all on the same side. So how do we convince schools like this to be fair?</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 27667, member: 1991"] From my observations, when a school has a high priority on "no tattling" then anything they claim about also being "zero tolerance on bullying" it total, unadulterated *&^%*&*. You can't have both. To claim both, or to insist on "no tattling" is pure laziness on the part of the school staff. It then becomes institutionalised bullying and you rapidly descend into William Golding territory (aka "Lord of the Flies"). Children should not be expected to instantly understand how to deal with bullying themselves, appropriately. Nor should they be expected to understand the difference between telling an adult about something that is really distressing them, and simply trying to get someone else into trouble. What may seem minor issues to an adult can be huge to a kid. Concerns shouldn't be automatically dismissed, nor should a child be automatically chastised for bringing a concern to a teacher. If, after the teacher checks it out, it is clear that the child IS 'tattling', or merely trying to get another kid into trouble and the story doesn't stack up, then it falls back on the teacher to try to sort out WHY a child is apparently falsely reporting. But if it's true, and extenuating circumstances have been explored and found wanting, then careful supervision is still needed to make sure the teacher has a full understanding. Sometimes apparent tattling can be a sign that something nastier is happening but the child simply is unable to fully explain the whole picture. OK, I'm preaching to the converted here. We're all on the same side. So how do we convince schools like this to be fair? Marg [/QUOTE]
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