Well, wow, huh? He came home from work early enough to shower and join me at the tdocs office. It was tense at times, but it was good. He was able to voice his concerns, I was able to vent my anger and frustrations and we were able to explore some ideas to help him have the conversation with his mom. My therapist kept asking me what my deepest fear was. First I answered that mother in law would end up living with us. She asked me a again and then I figured out what she was doing. Finally, I said it: "My biggest fear is that it will end us - I WILL leave" if his mother ends up living in the same house as us. She calmly turned to H and asked him if he heard what I was saying. He nodded yes. She asked him if he could envision his mom living with us and without skipping a beat he said, "No". Although he claims that he knows how to speak with his mother about this, therapist helped him develop different ways to begin the conversation. When I said I had concerns that he may not make it perfectly clear to her, that he may be ambiguous and vague, he just stared at me and then told therapist that he doesn't think that will be a problem. I still have my doubts - one thing almost everyone says about my H is that he doesn't make himself very clear when he's speaking! I stated that I felt like he was hiding information from me and that he's deliberatly putting off speaking with her. He denied that there were any secrets and he said he's been freaking out because he lost so much time and money with work over the summer due to his dad's illness and subsequent death that now he's scrambling to make up the lost money before winter hits. That is why he claims he's been putting off his flight to FL. He also said that he doesn't think his mom has enough income to last very long at the rates the assisted living charge. The therapist said, based on what we told her about mother in law's finances that she doesn't think money will be a huge issue. I told him he needs to tell me what he's thinking so I KNOW - this has been an ongoing issue. When H is stressed out he clams up and bucks up, 'takes it like a man', which leaves me in the dark wondering what the heck is going on. therapist reminded me that H is still grieving as well as dealing with all this added stress. She made him promise me that it will be all right. He did, and he hates contrived situations like that so I could tell he was peaved, hahaha. therapist then asked me to try and trust H to do what he needs to do but to be prepared so if he can't or won't, well, I know what I have to do. I could see that just added more stress to H, but oh well. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. In the end, it was a good hour - could've used three - and we went out to dinner afterwards. I feel somewhat better now that we were able to get it all out in a safe place without the discussion deteriorating to silence, ugh. And now we'll see. Thanks for all the support and positive juju - much appreciated!