Has he ever had a complete evaluation? It certainly sounds like more than just ADD, but I am not a doctor. If it is more than ADD you only have 2 years to get things done.
I am so sorry for your loss, and my prayers go out to your husband, kids and self.
I do wonder why he was up at 2am making eggs. Could it be the munchies caused by drugs? It might be worthwhile to test him.
I am so sorry you have to deal with him and the death at the same time.
(((((HUGS)))))
Susie