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Substance Abuse
He finally called
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 696480" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>TL, wow.</p><p></p><p>You are a hero, exactly where you should be in your life regarding your son and yourself and others. And that takes time.</p><p></p><p>I too came here at a desperate time in my life when I was angry, desperate, and overly consumed with my problem kids, at the expense of my loved ones who were not struggling. That was wrong for everyone, including myself. I wanted others to change and thought I could change them.</p><p></p><p>I too like AlAnon and disagree with Craft's definition of detachment. It does NOT mean cutting your child out of your life...I am against doing this to anyone and could never support it. Rather it means not getting so emotionally embroiled in the childs problems snd letting the child face consequences. Detachment and Tough Love do not dictate that we sever anyone from our life. It is about how much we enable thrm, not about shunnung them or withholding love.</p><p></p><p>I am kind of where you are at, TL. I can deal with my most difficult, disrespectful child and know I can't change him, that only he can help his angst (and probably won't) and after even a bad chat with him I can usually move on and focus on other things. He is mentally ill, but only he can decide to get better.</p><p></p><p>Meanwhile, I am starting to embrace daily gratitude, even starting a journal, as this is proven as a method to increase happiness.</p><p></p><p>I am glad you are in a good place. Too bad it can sometimes take so much time to understand and get there!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 696480, member: 1550"] TL, wow. You are a hero, exactly where you should be in your life regarding your son and yourself and others. And that takes time. I too came here at a desperate time in my life when I was angry, desperate, and overly consumed with my problem kids, at the expense of my loved ones who were not struggling. That was wrong for everyone, including myself. I wanted others to change and thought I could change them. I too like AlAnon and disagree with Craft's definition of detachment. It does NOT mean cutting your child out of your life...I am against doing this to anyone and could never support it. Rather it means not getting so emotionally embroiled in the childs problems snd letting the child face consequences. Detachment and Tough Love do not dictate that we sever anyone from our life. It is about how much we enable thrm, not about shunnung them or withholding love. I am kind of where you are at, TL. I can deal with my most difficult, disrespectful child and know I can't change him, that only he can help his angst (and probably won't) and after even a bad chat with him I can usually move on and focus on other things. He is mentally ill, but only he can decide to get better. Meanwhile, I am starting to embrace daily gratitude, even starting a journal, as this is proven as a method to increase happiness. I am glad you are in a good place. Too bad it can sometimes take so much time to understand and get there! [/QUOTE]
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He finally called
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