He had to make her cry?!?!?!

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by mrscatinthehat, Oct 12, 2008.

  1. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    My easy child and I went to a meeting today about being a student ambassador. It sounds very interesting and rewarding. I just know that I can't afford it on my own and I would need to get her a passport and can't do that without her father's signiture.

    So we called him. I talked for a bit then he said she needed to sell him on it. I let her talk to him at that point. Well He was fussing about the cost being a lot for him (as if I was planning on him paying the whole thing). Then he started making grade requirement comments. Now the whole reason I called him was so we could make those decisions together. He never even talked to me again. He said some other things that she won't even tell me yet.

    I am so angry. I am trying to figure out how many CPR classes I would have to teach to have enough for her to go on my own. Not sure that I can do it.

    I mean when I talked to her we had discussed I would pay part, we would ask her dad, she would have to use the money she is making from her job for that and then find a couple of sponsors. I thought that sounded mighty fair to me. But I never got to talk to him about any of that because he got her upset and then got off the phone.

    I know it may seem like a small thing but dang it I tried to do this the completely right way.

    Now she is in her room convinced she can't go. I am out here fuming and not able to eat my lovely honey teryaki chicken with carrots. And my husband is being incredibly nice ( excessively complimenting dinner and the like).

    I went on a study tour when I was a junior in high school. I remember it well. It wasn't in Europe but it was awesome just the same. The fact someone recommended her for this is what makes it great (don't know who). I mean we don't even know if she could go or not as she has to go through an interview and the like. A whole process.

    He told her he would call her back in the next couple days. Um that is such a crock oh ****. Hello I AM THE MOTHER you need to work with me on this. That is what I was trying to do with you butthead.

    I told easy child that if he vetoes this that we will wait until the following summer and have to years to save and I will take her to Europe. Then she will be 18 and pffft on him at that point.

    Why did he have to make her cry???? Although she is my girl as she did everything in her power to get through the rest of the call without him knowing that he got to her. If I wasn't watching it and then saw her after the call I may not have been aware how affected she was ( oh who am I fooling I would know but others wouldn't). She is a tough cookie. Wouldn't give him the satisfaction of the knowledge that what he said bothered her.

    Good thing he is on the east coast so he can't see how much he disturbed our household. Rotten jerk.

  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh Beth,
    Shame on him! I'm fuming right along with you!
  3. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    What a jerk. This sounds like a great thing for her. An honor to be nominated. I say to start the process. Start looking for sponsors now. Rotary organizations, VFW, American Legion, Women's organizaitons, JayCees, churches, everyone!

    Check for seasonal jobs - gift wrapping at malls and many stores looking for extra help for the Holidays (now through the beginning of January).
  4. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Andy has some great fundraising ideas there.
    Beth, I'm sorry that easy child's dad is such a jerk. Good for her for not letting him see that he got to her. And good for both of you for trying to find a way to make it happen anyway.

    Hugs to you and easy child.
  5. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, so sorry.
    I think you two can find a way to make it happen.
    Maybe you can call him back and just give him a set dollar amt that is much lower than he expected?
    I hope you can calm down enough to eat your teriyaki chicken. Sigh.
  6. Jena

    Jena New Member


    I am so sorry that you are upset right now. I have been there so many times with my ex pertaining to difficult child issues. It can be so difficult when you try your best to handle things the "adult and right" way and they just revert back to being complete moranic self serving caveman.

    I think it sounds great as well. There are alot of different things on web as well that offer "monies" to students. It's going to sound strange yet check out various companies clairol, etc. that offer student funds

    good luck, eat your chicken. you can't control him yet you can control how he makes you feel. I'm still working on it and it's 7 years divorced.

    :) my thoughts are with you
  7. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    I'd have rung him back and clarified matters. "Hey, bud - we're supposed to be a team, remember? Since when do YOU set conditions without talking to me about it? We rang you in order to keep YOU in the loop - at least return the courtesy. There was more information you didn't give us a chance to share with you. Now, try that again and let's get it RIGHT!"


  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It


    I am SOO glad you are divorced from him!! He had no right to start making conditions with-o talking about it to you. What a total JERK. And an IDIOT - because she will remember all the times like this when she is an adult. And she won't have much to do with him when he is old and needs her.

    I say start fundraising. Have garage sales. Put things on ebay if it is too cold to garage sale. Ask local businesses and groups like the Lions to help pay for this.

    It is quite an honor to be nominated, and I am sure that if she can't go this year they will let her go next year.

    Hugs to both of you, and kudos to your husband for being extra nice!

  9. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Beth, here's another idea. Go talk to the teacher in charge of this. I'm sure they've encountered this type of situation in the past and may have some really good ideas as to how to gather funds.

    You may also want to buzz through some of the scholarship websites and look through grant websites. Quite often there are different types of funding for this type of thing.

    We've all seen the newsreports on those weird scholarships that are out there for stuff like "kids with freckles" and "teens with crooked noses" that have enabled kids to go to school. It's worth a shot!

    Don't let that turkey get her down - she's got more people in her corner than she'll ever know!

    Last edited: Oct 13, 2008
  10. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    The others had very good ideas. Sorry ex is being such a royal PITA........ although that is not what I really wanted to call him.
  11. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Nutz has some great ideas.

    My daughter did this at age 11. I can't believe I let her do it, but it was heaven for her. She went to England, but traveled all over the area.

    As far as funding, talk to the teacher. There might be things that they can make happen.

  12. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    What a gigantic poop. Argh -

    First, I love the other ideas - definitely speak with the teacher involved and see about tapping those other organizations around your area. They love to help out and that's what they are there for. Our local rotary sponsors our local student exchange programs - you just never know until you ask.

    Then, can you call the jerk? Not so much to lace into him, as I'm sure you'd like to, but moreso to put a fire under his bottom?

    Hugs to easy child. It stinks to see them work so hard, be honored and want something so wonderful so badly only to see the dream squashed.
  13. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    What a poophead. It sounds like a great opportunity for her, and I hope you're able to figure something out. Are you sure you need his sig for a passport? If he is determined to be uncooperative, he may veto the sig as well.