He is driving me LITERALLY crazy

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by JJJ, Dec 4, 2009.

  1. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Eeyore lives in a black and white world. Everything must be spelled out exactly for him, no one can make ANY assumptions. For example, the wrestling coach told the boys from last year's team that they could bring in their old shoes and sell them to the new kids. Eeyore insisted that he was going to take a bunch of his shoes to sell. Eeyore was not on the team last year. He doesn't have wrestling shoes. He was going to sell his dress shoes. So I'm the "bad guy" because I explain it to him. But if I don't explain it to him, then he gets embarrassed at school and it is worse.

    We "close" our kitchen at night (psychologically as we have an open floor plan). This infuriates Eeyore. Despite being fed at least 4 meals per day and being allowed to eat as much as he wants at dinner (of cheap filler foods). We had to because he once ate ALL of the groceries that we had bought for the week. There really wasn't money to replace them.

    He doesn't understand that we can't just go to the supermarket and take what we want. And why can't we just get more money from the ATM???

    He is not Kanga. He is a typical teen with a very literal black and white view of the world. He is missing the joy of rainbows :(
  2. mstang67chic

    mstang67chic Going Green

    Ugh. I'm sorry...Hugs. That hoovers.

    I was wondering though...and I don't know how helpful this would be but.....

    Some day when all involved are in good (or reasonably good) moods, how about you and Eyeore take a trip to the nearest ATM. Tell him you're going to show him how it works so you (you you, not him you) have money to get groceries. Get there, show him the screen, buttons, card slot, etc. Then tell him to put his card in.

    When he tells you that he doesn't have a card, say "Oh that's right, you need a checking account to get a card. Do you have a checking account?" When he says no, say, "Well, we can use mine but I have to see how much is in the account"...and just go from there. Maybe if he sees the reciept with the balance on it ("fix" it ahead of time so it shows a low amount to teach him instead of explaining that while you have $500 in the bank, there are bills to pay with it) he can make the connection between the machine and the bank account.

    Or maybe not....just a thought.

    I know it hooves....hugs. Wish I could say more.
  3. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I know this must be so frustrating, especially because Mom is always, always the bad guy. Does not matter what it is.

    I know the food thing. With Wiz it didn't matter if we didn't have money to go buy more of whatever. That simply did not factor into his equation. When we "closed" the kitchen he would wait until we were asleep and then go take what he wanted. It took getting food poisoning, and having to pay the doctor bill with his own money and with chores to pay us back for the part he had no cash for. Yes, that sounds mean, but if we didn't put a cash price he would not have changed.

    I don't have answers, but I do empathize.
  4. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! I had suspected it but I actually caught him taking money (loose change) out of my room. I thought we were done with stealing!!!!!!!!! He then trashed his room because it wasn't fair that he was punished cause it wasn't "real" stealing since he was still in the house.

    Well, he is getting a "real" punishment all day!
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry. They simply don't see that we can own things, do they? It is like they are toddlers. Remember the Toddler Rule? What is mine is mine. What is yours is mine. What is his is mine. What I can see is mine. What I can think of is mine. If it is mine I want it NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!!

    You would THINK that after they grow out of the toddler years they would learn it isn't true, but they never seem to.


  6. TPaul

    TPaul Idecor8

    I can relate to this completley. We had this problem not just with our difficult child, but with our smaller ones they would get up at night, get something from the frig, (like a whole package of deli meat) take it to bed. Then eat a few and go to sleep leaving the whole package to spoil over night. We did what some might call drastic. We put a literal lock on the frig. Drilled and screwed a clasp to it, and used a keyed lock. We kept the key hidden or around our necks. It stopped the food from being left out.

    So many kids now, seem to have that,( just write a check, us the atm, etc) they don't have the concept of where money comes from. Electronic society, looses old fashioned concepts. LOL!!
  7. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts

    JJJ, are you sure you don't have wm visiting right now? Sounds very familiar to me.

    Sweetie, take some deep breaths, make yourself an Irish coffee & have Eeyore tied to your leg at all times. Happens to wm all the time because of the age he's acting or displaying at any given tm.

    Don't forget the Irish coffee - you can survive anything with an Irish coffee.:cheers:
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Arg. Too bad he's not 2. Then it would be kind of cute. Clearly, he is at an age when something should compute and it doesn't seem to be happening. I am so sorry.
    I try to catch things like (shoes) that b4 we even get home. In the car, I will say, "You do know that the coach meant just the shoes you wore for this season, on the field, right?" If he bucks, I turn the car around and say, "Okay, let's go talk to him." Usually, the anxiety of facing the coach and being proved wrong is stronger than his will to argue with-me.
    Why he has anxiety over a simple clarification is beyond me. Neurotypicals and those with-o anxiety do it a million times a day (ex."Did you mean this Wed. or next Wed?"). But for these kids, it's a huge deal.
    That's part of the ever-present education process for them.
    Hugs and lots of Christmas grog coming your way!