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Parent Emeritus
He is playing me yet again.....
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 680731" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>This is a good description, Insane.</p><p></p><p>Where the parent needs to learn to protect himself and to detach.</p><p></p><p>Where I find myself is needing to make a new kind of relationship with my son. My primary coping mechanism is anger. Sad but true. I am punitive and insulting. Sad but true.</p><p></p><p>I believe that my own grief and guilt and fear...which stem in large part to disappointments in my own life for which I believed my son would be the remedy are a barrier.</p><p></p><p>If I were to be able to come to grips with my own hopes, disappointments, limits, I could deal with my son as an adult person as he is. Which when you think about it, is what we have to do with every other single person.</p><p></p><p>I am able to feel compassion for TL, for Suzir, for Insane. I have a harder time for either myself or my son.</p><p></p><p>Sad but true. PE will no longer work for me because the answers for me are not the same as for parents whose children do not have the history that has my son.</p><p></p><p>I have spent too long denying the reality of his history to myself. I no longer want to keep denying it, because it could be that my own denial forced him to live out his truth in a way that might not have been so necessary.</p><p></p><p>Thank you all of you. It is enormously helpful to decide these things about oneself. To know why one has to take this or that stance at this or that time. Thank you Insane for defining this for me.</p><p></p><p>COPA</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 680731, member: 18958"] This is a good description, Insane. Where the parent needs to learn to protect himself and to detach. Where I find myself is needing to make a new kind of relationship with my son. My primary coping mechanism is anger. Sad but true. I am punitive and insulting. Sad but true. I believe that my own grief and guilt and fear...which stem in large part to disappointments in my own life for which I believed my son would be the remedy are a barrier. If I were to be able to come to grips with my own hopes, disappointments, limits, I could deal with my son as an adult person as he is. Which when you think about it, is what we have to do with every other single person. I am able to feel compassion for TL, for Suzir, for Insane. I have a harder time for either myself or my son. Sad but true. PE will no longer work for me because the answers for me are not the same as for parents whose children do not have the history that has my son. I have spent too long denying the reality of his history to myself. I no longer want to keep denying it, because it could be that my own denial forced him to live out his truth in a way that might not have been so necessary. Thank you all of you. It is enormously helpful to decide these things about oneself. To know why one has to take this or that stance at this or that time. Thank you Insane for defining this for me. COPA [/QUOTE]
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He is playing me yet again.....
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