He is Ramping up Please give me Strenght.

[Littleboylost]

Stressful and sad moments. Son has been pounding on the door and throwing rocks at our windows. This has been going on for 2 hours now. He managed to link his I pod up to the blue tooth speaker and was also blaring music. Husband went down and disconnected the speaker. If I had gone I would have caved and let him in the house. This is not the behavior of a well person.

My heart is shattered into bits, my chest is pounding. I am here writing and reaching to prevent me from caving in.

I know I should call the police, we do not have the heart to. Now that he is 18 this would be an adult charge. We do what our hearts can bear.

Strength to endure. Hope that he is suffering enough that he gets it.

 

[BusynMember]

He is doing addictive behavior.

 

[Littleboylost]

He is doing addictive behavior.

Yes SWOT these are not the behaviors of a rational person. I put a pair of noise canceling head phones on and had to put anti bark collars on the dogs.

Didn’t get a lot of sleep. He stopped around 5 am. We will need to get stronger and call the police.

 

[BloodiedButUnbowed]

Hi LBL,

If he was making that much of a racket I am surprised the neighbors did not call the police.

I am so sorry.

They always get worse before they get better. Sometimes the "worse" lasts a very long time.

I will keep your family in my prayers.

Remember that giving in to him now is going to kill him in the end. Stay focused. He will figure out how to survive. If his survival means getting clean he will do so. As long as he can stay fed, housed, clothed and in this day and age, tethered to his phone, he will continue to use.

He is not your beloved son at the moment, the drugs have taken him over and possessed his soul.

Stay strong. You are doing the right thing in kicking him out.

 

[Littleboylost]

Hi LBL,

If he was making that much of a racket I am surprised the neighbors did not call the police.

I am so sorry.

They always get worse before they get better. Sometimes the "worse" lasts a very long time.

I will keep your family in my prayers.

Remember that giving in to him now is going to kill him in the end. Stay focused. He will figure out how to survive. If his survival means getting clean he will do so. As long as he can stay fed, housed, clothed and in this day and age, tethered to his phone, he will continue to use.

He is not your beloved son at the moment, the drugs have taken him over and possessed his soul.

Stay strong. You are doing the right thing in kicking him out.

It is a very tough time BBU thank you for your support.
My tag should indeed be LBG not LBL because you are right. My boy is Gone.

 

[BloodiedButUnbowed]

Not gone forever....just lost for the time being. I think your username is still accurate.

 

[Albatross]

My tag should indeed be LBG not LBL because you are right. My boy is Gone.

Little Boy Addicted. Hopefully on his way to Little Boy Adulting.

 

[pasajes4]

Little, My son wound up breaking my front door down. Later he posted on Facebook that I deserved it, because I was trying to keep him out of HIS house.

This is hard. I can tell you from experience that letting him come home gives them your power. He will behave worse than he did before. His addiction will become your addiction.

 

[RN0441]

So much strength in these posts! They deserve many stars, not just one.

This forum has kept me sane (barely) during this very dark journey.

Usually I'd remind myself to do the opposite of what I'd do if my son were sober/not an addict. Knowing that if he was not happy, I was doing something right.

They have to feel the consequences and this kills our mommy heart but could save their life.

I watched a movie yesterday. A line in the movie was "don't get stuck in the present; we cannot see, hear, or feel God's Plan". It was not a religious movie but it spoke to me...for those that believe.

Hugs to us all.

 

[Littleboylost]

Little, My son wound up breaking my front door down. Later he posted on Facebook that I deserved it, because I was trying to keep him out of HIS house.

This is hard. I can tell you from experience that letting him come home gives them your power. He will behave worse than he did before. His addiction will become your addiction.

Pasa I agree. It is good to get the support. I need it to stay strong.

 

[Copabanana]

is there a shelter in your town or nearby?

my son did this. all through the night.

it was horrible.

i tjink he felt desperate. i think he could not imagine what his life would be. i think this is the pronlem for many of our kids.

i had ideas about what life could be for myself. and i realized them if i could.

your son's idea right now is to hold onto power and privilege. in your house. deceiving and disrespecting you. dominating you.

clearly this idea of his is not sound and needs changing. you are helping come up with a new idea.

within a week of pounding n our windows my son came up with the idea of living free at a luxury hotel on the beach in a high priced coastal city. for two years.

i might call the police. it is not your consequence. it is his..

 

[New Leaf]

OMG LBL, This is straight out of one of those scary meth commercials! I am so sorry you had to endure this.

If I had gone I would have caved and let him in the house. This is not the behavior of a well person.

It is so NOT the behavior of a well person. Your recognition that you would have caved and let him in speaks volumes as well. LBL. That is unacceptable. If it were a complete stranger, you would not have hesitated to call 911. That is what our d cs become in the irrationality of drug use, complete strangers, and capable of inflicting harm. Please, please think about this and make sure your house is secure. We had to change our locks and close our windows and lock them. My two knew our work schedule and would break in when we were gone. There are countless posts here about these behaviors. Somehow, these d cs feel entitled to everything we have and are enraged that they are put out. Instead of looking at themselves, they blame us for it all and act out in the most insane ways. Please protect yourselves!

My heart is shattered into bits, my chest is pounding. I am here writing and reaching to prevent me from caving in.

Little, I am glad you did not cave, that would only affirm in his mind that this behavior works to get him what he wants and the next time, would be worse. I am hoping for your sake, that he does not try this again, but unfortunately this is an unpredictable time for you and him and if he follows the patterns of others as he becomes more desperate, so will his actions. I cannot emphasize too much how important it is for you to protect your home and your heart. We become irrational as well. Desensitized to the offenses perpetrated upon us. This is horrible, horrible behavior. Can you imagine doing this to your parents? No way LBL. Caving and letting a crazed, tantrum, rock throwing drug user in your house? NO WAY! That is moth to the flame LBL, NO WAY!

Didn’t get a lot of sleep. He stopped around 5 am. We will need to get stronger and call the police.

Yes, stronger and call the police. Another chink in your armor. His behavior is completely outrageous and unacceptable. How dare he! Till 5 am? He thought that this would melt you? What next?
You can do this LBL, you are stronger than you think. Looking back at my twos history, I am flabbergasted at what we endured and put up with in the hopes of "helping" them. It only emboldened them to
trod upon our hearts, minds and belongings all the more. By having them live at home, we were literally funding their drug use, they had nary a care for our bleeding hearts.
Still don't.
There is an undeniable sickness that happened there.
Not only to them, to us.
They had every excuse in the book and we fell for it, hook line and sinker.
Love for them blinded us to what was going on.
Take off your blinders LBL and get tough.
Call the police if he dares to unleash this tirade on the sanctity of your heart, health and home.
Realize that he is capable under the influence of drugs, to do much, much more.
Put your foot down and put a stop to it.
(((HUGS)))
Leafy

 

[Littleboylost]

is there a shelter in your town or nearby?

my son did this. all through the night.

it was horrible.

i tjink he felt desperate. i think he could not imagine what his life would be. i think this is the pronlem for many of our kids.

i had ideas about what life could be for myself. and i realized them if i could.

your son's idea right now is to hold onto power and privilege. in your house. deceiving and disrespecting you. dominating you.

clearly this idea of his is not sound and needs changing. you are helping come up with a new idea.

within a week of pounding n our windows my son came up with the idea of living free at a luxury hotel on the beach in a high priced coastal city. for two years.

i might call the police. it is not your consequence. it is his..

I know Copa that we should call the police. I just don’t have the heart to. If he continues to not see his out patient rehab and his bail officer I csmtbsee it being Long before there is a bench warrant out for him. He already missed a court case and has done nothing to follow up with anyone about this.
There is a shelter and he refuses to go. Now that he is 18 there are more options for shelters. He r fuses. He is running out of couch surfing pals.

 

[RN0441]

I know Copa that we should call the police. I just don’t have the heart to. If he continues to not see his out patient rehab and his bail officer I csmtbsee it being Long before there is a bench warrant out for him. He already missed a court case and has done nothing to follow up with anyone about this.

Yet they think they are "fine" but can't even handle normal life.

 

[Littleboylost]

OMG LBL, This is straight out of one of those scary meth commercials! I am so sorry you had to endure this.
It is so NOT the behavior of a well person. Your recognition that you would have caved and let him in speaks volumes as well. LBL. That is unacceptable. If it were a complete stranger, you would not have hesitated to call 911. That is what our d cs become in the irrationality of drug use, complete strangers, and capable of inflicting harm. Please, please think about this and make sure your house is secure. We had to change our locks and close our windows and lock them. My two knew our work schedule and would break in when we were gone. There are countless posts here about these behaviors. Somehow, these d cs feel entitled to everything we have and are enraged that they are put out. Instead of looking at themselves, they blame us for it all and act out in the most insane ways. Please protect yourselves!

Little, I am glad you did not cave, that would only affirm in his mind that this behavior works to get him what he wants and the next time, would be worse. I am hoping for your sake, that he does not try this again, but unfortunately this is an unpredictable time for you and him and if he follows the patterns of others as he becomes more desperate, so will his actions. I cannot emphasize too much how important it is for you to protect your home and your heart. We become irrational as well. Desensitized to the offenses perpetrated upon us. This is horrible, horrible behavior. Can you imagine doing this to your parents? No way LBL. Caving and letting a crazed, tantrum, rock throwing drug user in your house? NO WAY! That is moth to the flame LBL, NO WAY!

Yes, stronger and call the police. Another chink in your armor. His behavior is completely outrageous and unacceptable. How dare he! Till 5 am? He thought that this would melt you? What next?
You can do this LBL, you are stronger than you think. Looking back at my twos history, I am flabbergasted at what we endured and put up with in the hopes of "helping" them. It only emboldened them to
trod upon our hearts, minds and belongings all the more. By having them live at home, we were literally funding their drug use, they had nary a care for our bleeding hearts.
Still don't.
There is an undeniable sickness that happened there.
Not only to them, to us.
They had every excuse in the book and we fell for it, hook line and sinker.
Love for them blinded us to what was going on.
Take off your blinders LBL and get tough.
Call the police if he dares to unleash this tirade on the sanctity of your heart, health and home.
Realize that he is capable under the influence of drugs, to do much, much more.
Put your foot down and put a stop to it.
(((HUGS)))
Leafy

FOG FOG FOG. I must keep clear of the FOG. I am getting smarter and stronger. I have to and I need to it will be the only thing that can save him.

The blame is difficult to deal with. The screams that he is going to kill himself is even worse. However after numerous crisis and psychiatric assesssments he has never been taken into care or admittied for care. I have to understand that in this case it is manipulation.

They are so entitled, I think this is really jaw slackingly unbeleivable. I know there is no way I could have event even imagined doing this to my parents. They would have put me straight out. No detaching with love just get out and grow the hell up. They did indeed do this to 2 of my 9 siblings. One straightened out to a degree the other is a functional alcoholic and chronic pot smoker.

I do not know that I can bring myself to call the police on him. I know if he is not to his bail meeting this week there will be a Bench warrant out for him.

We have a hole in one window screen and that is all the damage that was done. If he does this tonight I will have to muster the courage to call the police.

I must stand strong and with all of your support it is something I feel I can do.

I can’t imagine my sons brain on anything more than what he has taken. I think he high THC levels and the amount and how he smoked weed truly broke his brain.

I recall seeing him and his pals with a gas mask attached to a bong and smoking until they were so high they were vomiting and stuporius (snap chat or Instagram video). I remember feeling like the world had just opened up and sucked me down to hell.

He is agitated and our of control on cocaine and is somnolitic on Xanax. His memory is shot he lies with the ease of Kaa and can be just as mesmerizing. He is always always smoking pot not clear of THC for several years.

Bless us all for our trials and our strenght!

 

[Kathy813]

This is not the behavior of a well person.

You are right . . . this is the behavior of an addict who was probably high at the time.

I know I should call the police, we do not have the heart to.

By not calling the police, you are giving him permission to continue to do this to you.

My tag should indeed be LBG not LBL because you are right. My boy is Gone.

The loving son that you raised is not gone. The drugs are what you see now. My daughter came back to us when she got sober. She is a totally different person now than when she was using.

I went to a conference this past weekend and the speaker said:
"Our attempt at a solution is often part of the problem."

That has really stuck with me.

{{{hugs}}}

~Kathy

 

[recoveringenabler]

I'm reading along and supporting you LBL. You're doing an impossibly difficult thing, it is the hardest thing I've ever done too......hang tough.....you're not alone.......you've got the entire team here circling the wagons around you......every one of us knows the path you're on and the pain you're in......we're all here for you......

Praying for you and your son and your family......sending you a great big hug.....

 

[RN0441]

"Our attempt at a solution is often part of the problem."
~Kathy

OMG this is a good one to remember! Toolbox!

 

[Littleboylost]

So good and bad. I came home yesterday and my son was in the parking garage. I attempted to leave and he jumped in the car. I really need to lock the car doors.
He went through the whole gamut as he usually does. Admitting yes he is buying and selling drugs still and yes he stole from us (big surprise). Weeping that he had no where to go. New girl has already left him, I believe he has shifted friends groups yet again.
Twisting my heart in knots with his tears and tale of woe.
I said he could come in for a shower and something to eat but then he would have to go.
The minute he was in the Hosue his whole demeanor changed (I know shocking right). This was good for me to see. He blamed us for his failing school because how could he look for a place to stay and concentrate on school. He was failing before we asked him to leave. They must think we are so dumb.
He stole i Phone cables and plugs and then denied it. This was so good for me. If there was money out it would have been gone.
I told him don’t ask for money your not getting any. He didn’t bother. He showered and ate 1/2 a hamburger (drugs will do that to a growing boys appetite). Was very busy on the wifi.
He started with the I love yous and manipulation. Out out out. And he is gone. Husband dropped him and his bag off at some house around our neighbourhood.
He kept crying and saying I have no idea how tough his life is and what he is going through. Declined rehab says he doesn’t have a problem. I offered to drug test him. His response was proof enough. His behaviour is proof enough.
Have not heard a peep from him since and won’t until he needs something or is in jail.
We cleared the crap out of his room last night. We have not touched it since he came home in August. I have cleaned his bathroom as I could not stand the mess. His room was such a tip. It represents the chaos he lives in and the lack of respect and appreciation he has for anything.
Hope and no expectations. May the universe guide him and may he see the light before it is too late.

 

[Sam3]

LBL.

Same same same. I was just going to copy and paste your post and redline the few changes.

Woe and lament. "You couldn't possibly understand how hard this is."

Changed demeanor when you let him in for a shower. Carrying on with his connected life.

Stolen iPhone cables. This had been going on for a couple years. I thought I was losing my mind. How much street value can they have?

He blamed us for falling behind in school because how could he keep up without a secure place to stay?
He wasn't keeping up before he left.

Refused to be tested even just for hard drugs. (We were prepared to give him a short pass with pot and alcohol.) Speaks for itself

It's darkly comical how the mask of addiction looks the same on so many.