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General Parenting
He is slowly killing me
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 686889" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>Not an uncommon situation. Mental health challenges are very poorly served in general, and especially among the child and teen populations. So, he has some diagnoses, and medications as a result. But, you really don't know if they ever were the right medications, much less if they are right, now. And you may not even know the accuracy of the actual diagnoses. It's not unusual for kids like this to fall between the cracks - and it has nothing to do with us being "bad parents" - the system is stacked against us and our kids.</p><p> </p><p>Having said that. He is 18. He is capable of holding down a job. He legally has the right to make his own (stupid or not) choices.</p><p> </p><p>The choices he is making at this point are not going in a right direction. So, it isn't wise to be supporting those choices. Pay for insurance on a car when he's prepared to drive under the influence of whatever? I wouldn't. Pay for rehab if he wants to go? Sure - or, depending on the relationship, maybe. Pay to go to school? Under the current conditions, I wouldn't pre-pay, but would consider paying back the tuition for any courses that are passed. Even if it's just up-grading of grade 12 standing. Positive actions can be supported and rewarded. The rest... much as it kills us, is better if we back away from. How fast or slow we back away depends on the exact situation and the relationship.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 686889, member: 11791"] Not an uncommon situation. Mental health challenges are very poorly served in general, and especially among the child and teen populations. So, he has some diagnoses, and medications as a result. But, you really don't know if they ever were the right medications, much less if they are right, now. And you may not even know the accuracy of the actual diagnoses. It's not unusual for kids like this to fall between the cracks - and it has nothing to do with us being "bad parents" - the system is stacked against us and our kids. Having said that. He is 18. He is capable of holding down a job. He legally has the right to make his own (stupid or not) choices. The choices he is making at this point are not going in a right direction. So, it isn't wise to be supporting those choices. Pay for insurance on a car when he's prepared to drive under the influence of whatever? I wouldn't. Pay for rehab if he wants to go? Sure - or, depending on the relationship, maybe. Pay to go to school? Under the current conditions, I wouldn't pre-pay, but would consider paying back the tuition for any courses that are passed. Even if it's just up-grading of grade 12 standing. Positive actions can be supported and rewarded. The rest... much as it kills us, is better if we back away from. How fast or slow we back away depends on the exact situation and the relationship. [/QUOTE]
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