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He left. What's next for me?
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 664061" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Me too. For you and for me. And for M, who I am mad at, but regret his suffering for his children.</p><p>Cedar, think of yourself at work. And holding steady with a patient. His agony. Her fear. All he or she has at that moment is your presence. Your strength and your love. The connection between you and your presence with him at the moment?</p><p></p><p>Does it not feel enough, at that moment? For your patient and for you? For me, it is. It has been.</p><p></p><p>I remember a man I knew with AIDS. About 15 years ago, before there were such effective treatments or any treatment at all.</p><p></p><p>A gorgeous Black man in his 30's dying in prison. Alone. And he cried with me. I held him while he cried. His tears dripping onto my face. I could not do anything except what I did. Be there. Cry for him and with him and for myself.</p><p></p><p>Thank you for crying with me, he said. Nobody ever did that before. Thank you. And for that moment, it was enough.</p><p></p><p>Cedar, there must be thousands and thousands of moments like that for you in your work.</p><p></p><p>To my shame, I have not been able to summon up that space for my own child. At least not enough.</p><p></p><p>Apparently, because he is not enrolled in College.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 664061, member: 18958"] Me too. For you and for me. And for M, who I am mad at, but regret his suffering for his children. Cedar, think of yourself at work. And holding steady with a patient. His agony. Her fear. All he or she has at that moment is your presence. Your strength and your love. The connection between you and your presence with him at the moment? Does it not feel enough, at that moment? For your patient and for you? For me, it is. It has been. I remember a man I knew with AIDS. About 15 years ago, before there were such effective treatments or any treatment at all. A gorgeous Black man in his 30's dying in prison. Alone. And he cried with me. I held him while he cried. His tears dripping onto my face. I could not do anything except what I did. Be there. Cry for him and with him and for myself. Thank you for crying with me, he said. Nobody ever did that before. Thank you. And for that moment, it was enough. Cedar, there must be thousands and thousands of moments like that for you in your work. To my shame, I have not been able to summon up that space for my own child. At least not enough. Apparently, because he is not enrolled in College. [/QUOTE]
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