Well, difficult child worked his A** off Fri. eve. And yesterday to get back enough privilege to have one friend over for dinner yesterday since he'd lost the privilege of birthday party and sleep-over. All that went well and he was happy with gifts. Although, when I asked him if he'd call to give others notice that his party had been cancelled, he told me there was no one to call- no one but this one friend had planned on coming. Background- he's been on lithobid a while; it didn't seem to do anything except eliminate raging at first then it started looking like it wasn't helping so well with that. In the mean time, depakote was added and it seems to have helped with all other symptons, so psychiatrist and I tried lowering lithobid dosage a little. psychiatrist said to go back to normal dosage at any signs of trouble. difficult child started beginning band this year- trumpet. At the time, the only thing available to rent was a beat up old trumpet. He was happy to get it at first, and then felt embarrassed about it, I understand. Last week I asked the store if anything else was available to rent yet- they had a brand new- same rental cost- I took it. I told difficult child to treat it like it's his own because if he stays in band, I might buy it for him. He was thrilled. Tonight, time to practice. The here comes 'I can't play at all- I s*** at trumpet'. I say the typical, no, you're doing well- even the band director says so- and, you joined for the year so you have to live up to that commitment and stay in and practice for this school year- if you don't want to do it next year, you don't have to.' BOOM! There goes the trumpet across the room. It's bent in at least three places- one is VERY bad. OHHHH- so then, I'm " well, you won't be staying in band now. He becomes a basket case. He's crying and saying OMG why do I do this; I can't help it; I destroy everything; I don't know what to do; I'm ruining my life; and so on and so on… I just tell him to put it up. That's it- I can't afford it (the price tags on those things are around $1000). I told him he's going to be selling some things of his to pay for it but it's going back and he can figure out what to do about the class at school. He keeps on being a basket case. I say, well, if you can't help it, there is help available. You have to start with a new therapist and go back up on the medications a while. He cried and cried and went to his bedroom when I told him to. I took him his medications- back on higher dose of lithobid- and he took it- between tears. Now, I'm second guessing myself and still thinking, yes, he should have to sell some of his belongings to pay for what I hope can be repaired- but maybe he should still have to live with this trumpet (as a rental) and stay in band and practice whether he thinks he's any good or not. Otherwise, couldn't he get the message that if he rages over and destroys something, he can get out of his commitment? I hear him say over and over that he doesn't think he's any good at it- but everyone else, including the director, says he's doing well. He also tells me half the time that he doesn't want to do it anymore. The only good thing about this day is that I finally got laundry caught up, I got to take a really nice long hot shower, and I figured out how to get back here and I finally got my emoticons back. Opinions- suggestions??