He makes me so angry

Marguerite

Active Member
Karen, you said, "Apparently she was in a very abusive relationship before him, so he must be like dating a prince!"

It does sound to me like she's one of those people who keeps making the same mistakes, always letting herself be hurt over and over. She's come from one abusive relationship (probably more) and is already bending over and saying, Kick me!"
Remember those Kigmees from Lil' Abner? Just get a mental picture of one every time you mention her...

And Witz is right, too - he's too good at this disrespect stuff, it's too well practised. It's like he's never known anything else, which is such a horrible thing for you.

And I also agree with the others about making him sign an acknowledgement of every $ you give him. It needn't be shown to the tax office, but it's covering you if he tries to play any silly games about "she never gave me the money". Also from things you've said, he's not good with money and let loose on his own he's likely to soon want more just because he's so poor at managing his own affairs (in every way!). Even though you are managing everything and you have your hands on the bulk of the assets - it's just another bit of paperwork to make sure everything stays clean and green. All you need is a sheet of paper with a column showing cash out, and a line with the amount, the date and his initials next to it when he collects it. If you want to include a code phrase as well to clarify, but I don't think you would need it. Just the date and amount should be amply clear to show that he acknowledges receipt of $x on such-and-such a date...

As you said, you have two beautiful children and you are now growing and changing positively, emerging from your chrysalis. He doesn't deserve the butterfly you are becoming.

Marg
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
Ugh Karen...Im spittin mad for you too!

On the doggy front, I have an idea if your brother in law wants to CYA and let you have the puppy there with you but not have to get into the big discussion with other tenants about why you get to have one and others dont.

If a therapist or counselor says that a pet is needed for a therapeutic reason for a tenant, then the landlord has to make exceptions to the no pet rule. Your therapist could write a letter stating that your dog is therapeutic to you and your daughters mental stability at this time while you are undergoing such a traumatic event and any other loss could negatively impact both of you.

It would get the dog in the apartment.
 

KFld

New Member
If I really pushed it, I'm sure I could have the dog at my apartment, but the way it is set up, it's not the best place for her. At the house she has a fenced in back yard where she can run and go in and out as she wants, and she loves to sit out there and just look over her yard. At my apartment I would have to go down a flight of stairs and bring her accross the parking lot to this little strip of grass everytime she wants to go out and with winter coming, I really don't want to be standing out in the parking lot at 6:00 every morning freezing my patootie off in the snow, wind, cold, etc. Nor do I want to be doing that at 10:00 at night in the winter. She would be left home all day by herself, which she is in the summer months anyway, but in the winter HP doesn't work unless it snows, so he will be home with her all winter.

If there is one thing about HP that I know, he loves this dog just as much as I do and I don't worry a bit about him not taking as good care of her as I can. The living situation is much better for her there right now, but I will make sure when I move and buy my own place, it will be a place that she can come and be just as comfy as she is now. She is my dog and I will get her as soon as I know it's the best thing for her. Right now I will take her as much as I can on the weekends, as long as I know the weather isn't going to be bad.

I won't use her as a weapon against him, as it's not in her best interest.
 

DammitJanet

Well-Known Member
Ok...I was just throwing that out there in case you needed it. I didnt know about the whole house thing and the way it was set up. Im glad she is being taken care of.
 

KFld

New Member
thanks Janet. I appreciate anyones input and ideas at this point and I take what I can from them. If I was at all worried that she wasn't being taken care of, as she is my baby, I would contact the person I adopted her from. She fosters daschunds for the daschund rescue and if I hadn't taken her, she would have kept her for herself.
If there is ever a time that I needed to, as much as it would kill me, I would give her back as I know she would have a wonderful loving home with her, her husband and her children. I wouldn't hesitate for a moment. They have actually watched her when we have gone on vacation, and they didn't want to give her back :smile:
 
You could tell brother in law that you have to keep her there...





.....drumroll.....






....to put at the foot of your door to keep the breeze out.








Kidding! I kid.
 

Star*

call 911........call 911
If you look closely at the eyes of the beautiful long haired Daschund you will see the words : MOMMY I RUFF YOU!

Thanks Karen - she's a Dandy!
 

Steely

Active Member
Just wanted to pass on HUGS.......

Sickening is the only word that comes to mind about your s2bex and his "new" girlfriend. BARF!

As Terry said, new girlfriend will soon realize there are many forms of abuse, unfortunately, she has just entered the realm of Covert Ops of Denial Affection, CODA. In other words, "I am using you, to run away from my really deep painful feelings"...................been there done that..................on both ends.

This will all get better, as you know! And you are the one who will come out on top, because you are healthy enough to "get it".

Hang tough!
Willow
 
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