He was supposed to meet while I was out of town. Yeah, right. I set up the mtng and drove him this afternoon. They met at a Starbucks and talked for nearly 2 hrs. He wanted to know if his bmom, R, and bdad loved one another, how they decided to place him for adoption, all that. Of course, when I picked him up, he was still processing information and was very snippy and hyper. If I asked a question, he'd yell at me. I'd be silent, and a few min. later, he'd talk. I can see that info will come in bits and pieces. The main thing is that his bmom, R, was adamant that this child be placed for adoption. difficult child's old girlfriend just turned 17 on Tuesday. And her mom is verbally abusive. If D were a go-getter, it would be one thing. But she is depressed and looking for love. Bad way to find it. R is very supportive and said that she'd be happy to meet with D. That won't do any good. D is like difficult child. You can talk a blue streak and she'll tell you what you want to hear, and then turn around and do whatever she pleases. Sigh. Met with the psychiatrist today, too(before the bmom visit). He wrote a scrip for Buspar for Difficult Child's anxiety. Could have sworn we used it before. Thank doG for this forum! I did a search and found that I'd written a thread on Nov. 13, 2012 and he broke out in hives. Glad I didn't get the scrip filled. psychiatrist asked Difficult Child why he put a knife to his wrist. Difficult Child said he didn't know. Impulsivity and anxiety. About what? Dunno. psychiatrist said, "I'll make it easy for you. One, you want to die. Two, you are in emotional pain and want it to stop. Three, you want to provoke someone into doing something or having some kind of reaction. Four, you are faking." (There may have been a fifth one but I can't remember it.) I think it was a combination of emotional pain and provocation. I asked if we could have something consistent for anxiety instead of clonidine, and that's where the idea for Buspar came in. Any ideas on medications? The psychiatrist also told difficult child that looking for all the answers in genetics (ergo, the bmom talk) was not going to help. You are not a product of your genes. It is just one component. You have genetics, you have medications, you have work, work, work. YOU change your life.