My mom called me this morning to tell me that my dad had lost consciousness. By the time I got to their house he was gasping to take in air. Truthfully I have never seen a person die, and I almost ran out of the room when I saw him this way. I totally freaked. Then I bit my lip, and sat down for the bedside vigil. My aunt and uncle and mom and myself all took turns holding his hand. His gasped for more and more air, his extremities turned blue, and finally he took his last breath. At certain points I thought about pouring my heart out to him, and telling him everything I ever wanted to tell him - but then I felt at peace that I was OK. I needed to just let this be as it is, and not try to scramble for one last piece or shred from my Dad. I just had to let him go. My mom sobbed, holding tight to him once he died. I stood there, with tears, as it was equally as hard to see my mom so distraught. As I said at first I wanted to run from the room when I first saw that he was dying, but then I did not want to leave the room. I waited by his bed until the funeral home came, and watched as they put him in a body bag, and covered him with a flag because he was a vet. It was full closure. I am feeling pretty numb at the moment. I guess drained of all emotion now. Thanks cd friends for being part of this journey with me, listening, and caring.