He said "I trust you" when

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ML, Jul 11, 2009.

  1. ML

    ML Guest

    I asked him if he wanted me to explain what all of the pills did as I handed them to him. I started telling him which one was for allergies, fish oil, Vit C, probiotics, clonidine and 10 mg zoloft. These are all 2x a day. He started listening and then stopped and swallowed them all and said "na, I trust you". That sure made me realize what a responsibility we have as parents.

    by the way husband and I started seeing a family therapist to help us with discipline and with the dysfunctional elements to our family dymanics. She is having us (re) read 123 magic. I have been doing it for years but not correctly and with not enough follow through. I really like this therapist. She told me to stop talking within 30 minutes because she said I was taking up husband's "space." She said she could already see our dance lol. I think she will help us. I am finally at a place where I trust husband to take part of disciplining manster. He has 9.5 mos of sobriety now but more importantly he is truly working a program and has come to earn trust from me that I didn't think possible.

    Wish us luck.

  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    It sounds like things are going great! I am so glad to hear it. I have thought before that our difficult child's have to have a blind faith in us that far exceeds a easy child's in order to swallow whatever we give them. I'm glad Manster trusts you.

    Kudos Mom!
  3. crazymama30

    crazymama30 Active Member

    Wow. That is great that he trusts you so much. I know with some difficult child's their ability to blindly trust people can be scary, but it is good if they are able to trust the people they are supposed to.
  4. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I am so happy for you! I can feel the peace that you are starting to experience.

    It is great for Manster to trust you with the medications. I would encourage him within this trust to start learning about each medication though. He may not understand completly, but it is important for him to be able to recognize which medication is which. I would start with explaining one at a time (with the strongest medication down to the lest harmful vitamins). Maybe repeat the description and reason each time given for a few days than do the same for another one.

    It is super important that difficult child trusts you in what he is suppos to take, however, it is also important as he grows older to be able to recognize on his own which medications he is to take. Kind of like another check and balance. It will help if he is ever given anything at school or elsewhere and the person accidently hands him someone else's medications. Or even at home if his medications cup gets switched with another family member's cup for that morning. You want him to know that one is not his.

    A week ago when difficult child was still on Flouxetine, his 20 mg refill came as a capsule instead of a tablet. I was very proud when he called me at work to confirm that he was suppose to take that one. That I hadn't made a mistake and put something different out for him.

    Another example, with the itchy palms situation earlier this week, I set out three cups of medications for him to take one depending on what I found out from the doctor. I could call home and say, "Take the one with 1/2 vitamine B2 only. That is the large orange pill." He was familiar enough with it that it was easy for him to figure it out.

    Your difficult child probably stopped listening when it started to become overwhelming - when he could no longer take in anymore info. If he learns them one at a time over a month or so, it will help. If he was ever in a medical situation where the care takers needed to know what he was taking ASAP, it would sure help if he could tell them. Maybe writing everything down on a very small card for to him look at each day might help him. 10 years old is young to know EVERYTHING, but he can know the very limited basics.

    You really are doing great! Having difficult child trust you with so many medications and having success with husband in counseling. Are you feeling your strength and confidence in your family relations coming back through all of this?
    Last edited: Jul 11, 2009
  5. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    WOW! That is high praise from a difficult child!

    I am so glad you and husband are working with a therapist. You will find a renewed faith in your husband and in your marriage. Life will become a lot more fun for both of you. But it IS hard work. Expect some backsliding at time from each of you.

    As for the kids trusting us about their medications, from the very earliest times my kids were on medications I would show them the medication, show it to them cut in half if needed (or for thank you I would show him how I opened the capsule of antibiotics and took out half and mixed it with chocolate syrup - he couldn't have any kids antibiotics because all have artificial sweeteners he is allergic to.

    He could tell me how many of each pill or liquid and what it was for before he even went to kdg. I felt it was very important because what if something happened to me or if I mixed things up. thank you caught a BIG mistake made by the pharmacy when they sent the wrong medicine. It could have killed him. I am ashamed to say I missed it. I also made him and the older two learn his food allergies. That way if they were away from me I could be comfortable knowing that they would each be alert to the problems. The older two knew it could end a fun outing in a hurry if he got the wrong foods and they were the ones who thought of that.

    It is also good for him to know what he is taking so he can tell you if he feels strange from the medications. Maybe you can work with him one medication at a time, or even make a chart with a picture of each pill and a simple explanation of what it does. there are images of most medications in pill form online.
  6. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    What progress!
    We've had good luck with-some of those medications and vitamins, too.
    GREAT that your therapist is working out. And interesting that you've read 1,2,3 but weren't doing it right. That's a good therapist, who can point out the Real Life differences and the words on the page.
    Bravo. Keep up the good work.
  7. ML

    ML Guest

    Thanks all for the great input. Yes, Andy, my confidence is slowly returning. I need help with parenting manster as he's getting older and my time to make a positive impact is getting shorter.


  8. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    It's so nice husband is able to help more and has earned some trust. It's also wonderful how much difficult child trusts you!:) Hugs.