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He wants to move out of sober living
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 637501" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Hi daze. First, a focus on the good things in your post and there are many. I'm so glad for you and for him that he is doing so well.</p><p></p><p>Right now, my difficult child seems/appears/might be doing better too. I think this is a tricky time for us, when they start to show signs of improvement.</p><p></p><p>They still have their old habits and so do we. And both of us can relapse at any time.</p><p></p><p>There are so many things I would love to do for difficult child as he seems to be doing some really hard things himself, and doing them consistently (if you can call 10 to 12 weeks or so consistent). </p><p></p><p>He's working full time, riding a bike to work in the dark, in the cold, has no place of his own to live in, going to probation once a week, and then another probation every three weeks, paying fines, has no phone....somehow making it without any help from me at all.</p><p></p><p>It's so tempting to step in and help. But in my humble opinion, this is the exact time NOT to do that. They must figure life out. They must navigate the ups and downs and other people and hard times and cold mornings and no car and minimum wage because...they missed all of that. </p><p></p><p>This is what growing up is all about. (I am talking as much to myself here as to you.).</p><p></p><p>I would keep making supportive "noises" to him like you are doing. For YOU, I would distance myself if you can from his calls, texts and get-togethers.</p><p></p><p>Let him ride this out and figure it out. I am sure halfway houses at their best aren't a wonderful place to be. But you know, it is what it is. </p><p></p><p>And it is what it will be. He's 27 years old. My difficult child is 25 years old. They must walk this road themselves, without us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 637501, member: 17542"] Hi daze. First, a focus on the good things in your post and there are many. I'm so glad for you and for him that he is doing so well. Right now, my difficult child seems/appears/might be doing better too. I think this is a tricky time for us, when they start to show signs of improvement. They still have their old habits and so do we. And both of us can relapse at any time. There are so many things I would love to do for difficult child as he seems to be doing some really hard things himself, and doing them consistently (if you can call 10 to 12 weeks or so consistent). He's working full time, riding a bike to work in the dark, in the cold, has no place of his own to live in, going to probation once a week, and then another probation every three weeks, paying fines, has no phone....somehow making it without any help from me at all. It's so tempting to step in and help. But in my humble opinion, this is the exact time NOT to do that. They must figure life out. They must navigate the ups and downs and other people and hard times and cold mornings and no car and minimum wage because...they missed all of that. This is what growing up is all about. (I am talking as much to myself here as to you.). I would keep making supportive "noises" to him like you are doing. For YOU, I would distance myself if you can from his calls, texts and get-togethers. Let him ride this out and figure it out. I am sure halfway houses at their best aren't a wonderful place to be. But you know, it is what it is. And it is what it will be. He's 27 years old. My difficult child is 25 years old. They must walk this road themselves, without us. [/QUOTE]
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He wants to move out of sober living
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