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He wants to move out of sober living
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 637537" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>It's really funny daze that later this morning I got an email from difficult child's dad asking me if I would give difficult child a monthly sum to supplement his income as "it's getting cold outside and he really needs to get a place to live." He went on to say what he and his wife are going to do---pay for his car repairs and make sure he gets into an apartment---and wanted to know if I and difficult child's brother could commit to an ongoing amount of money per month for difficult child. I wrote him back and then called him, but he didn't answer so I left a detailed vm.</p><p></p><p>Here is the deal. I had just written the above, and I believe what i wrote. </p><p></p><p>I think it is a really bad idea for difficult child to consider renting an apartment he can't afford on his paycheck today. By himself. I am not going to commit to a monthly sum.</p><p></p><p>I did say I would help with some one-time contributions to get him over the hump. But, I had already told difficult child that, and so had his dad. difficult child has not taken the steps to show that he has his own skin in the game first. </p><p></p><p>I think his dad is well-intentioned but is making a mistake, not just for himself but really a mistake for difficult child, by coming in like the Cavalry at this particular moment in time. </p><p></p><p>difficult child is facing a mountain of money-needs. I get that. It is a situation he himself has created. He needs to find the wherewithal to dig himself out, with a little help. Not ongoing help. </p><p></p><p>Just three weeks ago, difficult child was able to raise nearly $950 to bail out girlfriend. This is somebody who is homeless---he raised that kind of money. He can do anything he sets his mind to, and that is what being an adult is---rising to the occasion.</p><p></p><p>So...anyway...we will see. I can't control difficult child's dad or difficult child of course. People do what they will do. I can only say what I will do, and why. </p><p></p><p>I also think it was wrong to bring difficult child's brother into the mix. My other son, difficult child's brother, is not responsible, nor was he ever responsible for difficult child. I called him and told him so. </p><p></p><p>Anyway, interesting right when I am stating my thoughts to you, the call from out of the blue comes in, and I have to take my own pulse and see if I actually believe what I wrote. And I do. </p><p></p><p>I want the best for difficult child, and I think he definitely is making progress. We don't need to hijack that progress. He is doing exactly what he needs to do, for himself, right now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 637537, member: 17542"] It's really funny daze that later this morning I got an email from difficult child's dad asking me if I would give difficult child a monthly sum to supplement his income as "it's getting cold outside and he really needs to get a place to live." He went on to say what he and his wife are going to do---pay for his car repairs and make sure he gets into an apartment---and wanted to know if I and difficult child's brother could commit to an ongoing amount of money per month for difficult child. I wrote him back and then called him, but he didn't answer so I left a detailed vm. Here is the deal. I had just written the above, and I believe what i wrote. I think it is a really bad idea for difficult child to consider renting an apartment he can't afford on his paycheck today. By himself. I am not going to commit to a monthly sum. I did say I would help with some one-time contributions to get him over the hump. But, I had already told difficult child that, and so had his dad. difficult child has not taken the steps to show that he has his own skin in the game first. I think his dad is well-intentioned but is making a mistake, not just for himself but really a mistake for difficult child, by coming in like the Cavalry at this particular moment in time. difficult child is facing a mountain of money-needs. I get that. It is a situation he himself has created. He needs to find the wherewithal to dig himself out, with a little help. Not ongoing help. Just three weeks ago, difficult child was able to raise nearly $950 to bail out girlfriend. This is somebody who is homeless---he raised that kind of money. He can do anything he sets his mind to, and that is what being an adult is---rising to the occasion. So...anyway...we will see. I can't control difficult child's dad or difficult child of course. People do what they will do. I can only say what I will do, and why. I also think it was wrong to bring difficult child's brother into the mix. My other son, difficult child's brother, is not responsible, nor was he ever responsible for difficult child. I called him and told him so. Anyway, interesting right when I am stating my thoughts to you, the call from out of the blue comes in, and I have to take my own pulse and see if I actually believe what I wrote. And I do. I want the best for difficult child, and I think he definitely is making progress. We don't need to hijack that progress. He is doing exactly what he needs to do, for himself, right now. [/QUOTE]
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He wants to move out of sober living
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