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He wants to move out of sober living
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 637539" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>COM, I know where you're coming from. My ex is always handing over thousands of dollars to 36 for things he could affored if he curtailed his love of videogames and game systems. I'm amazed at all the money ex has thrown at him. I don't think it's good because it allows my son to be irresponsible and impulsive rather than learning he has to save if he wants to pay the mortgage or buy groceries. I don't really feel sorry for 36 at all. He makes a good income, but spends it all on useless things. Toys, really.</p><p></p><p>But I don't say anything to ex. It is none of my business.</p><p></p><p>Now if ex tried to get my daughter to send him money, I'd really not be happy. If ex wants to do it, that's one thing, but to pressure one of his kids into sending money to support a sibling who is not doing well is not acceptable to me. However, it really would be up to the sibling to say yes or no. I know of a 55 year old man who has never held a job for more t han three months at a time (he either quits or is fired and is an alcoholic) an d his sister literally gives him thousands a month. He resents her very much, in spite of her generosity, because in return he has to put up with her lectures, her demeaning comments and other things he prefers not to deal with. He doesn't think it's fair, but...nothing is free. In his case, to receive his monthly "sibling support" he has to listen to his b***chy (in his words) sister berating him. Obviously, since she pays for his rent and groceries and even car insurance, he has done nothing in his entire life to grow up and at his age it is doubtful he ever will. He also has a sugar mommy who helps pay for his things. This man is actually not somebody I know, but I know of him. My sister's friend is going out with him and is his sugar mommy and I have heard about him. Kind of blew my mind that a sister, rich or not, would pay all his bills. I mean, this brother is now a senior citizen!!!! Yikes! She'll be doing it forever and he'll resent her forever, but he'll take the money.</p><p></p><p>I don't and never will think supporting our able bodied grown kids is good for them, but we can't stop others from feeling the need.</p><p></p><p>When my daughter used drugs and needed extra money, she sold drugs. That's how she'd get her extra money. Maybe that's how your son bailed his girlfriend out of jail. They are amazingly good at getting money when they have to. Maybe he panhandled. My daughter has done that as well. Embarassing since she had a job at Walmart and was living at home, but spent her paychecks on drugs and needed more for more drugs.</p><p></p><p>Oh, well. At least your son has a job. I see that as a positive sign. But I'm sure he could rent a room in somebody's home no matter how low his salary is. As long as some income is there, there is someplace you can go to have a roof over your head that is not a shelter.</p><p></p><p>Hoping for the best for your son and your response to your ex was in my opinion appropriate and brave.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 637539, member: 1550"] COM, I know where you're coming from. My ex is always handing over thousands of dollars to 36 for things he could affored if he curtailed his love of videogames and game systems. I'm amazed at all the money ex has thrown at him. I don't think it's good because it allows my son to be irresponsible and impulsive rather than learning he has to save if he wants to pay the mortgage or buy groceries. I don't really feel sorry for 36 at all. He makes a good income, but spends it all on useless things. Toys, really. But I don't say anything to ex. It is none of my business. Now if ex tried to get my daughter to send him money, I'd really not be happy. If ex wants to do it, that's one thing, but to pressure one of his kids into sending money to support a sibling who is not doing well is not acceptable to me. However, it really would be up to the sibling to say yes or no. I know of a 55 year old man who has never held a job for more t han three months at a time (he either quits or is fired and is an alcoholic) an d his sister literally gives him thousands a month. He resents her very much, in spite of her generosity, because in return he has to put up with her lectures, her demeaning comments and other things he prefers not to deal with. He doesn't think it's fair, but...nothing is free. In his case, to receive his monthly "sibling support" he has to listen to his b***chy (in his words) sister berating him. Obviously, since she pays for his rent and groceries and even car insurance, he has done nothing in his entire life to grow up and at his age it is doubtful he ever will. He also has a sugar mommy who helps pay for his things. This man is actually not somebody I know, but I know of him. My sister's friend is going out with him and is his sugar mommy and I have heard about him. Kind of blew my mind that a sister, rich or not, would pay all his bills. I mean, this brother is now a senior citizen!!!! Yikes! She'll be doing it forever and he'll resent her forever, but he'll take the money. I don't and never will think supporting our able bodied grown kids is good for them, but we can't stop others from feeling the need. When my daughter used drugs and needed extra money, she sold drugs. That's how she'd get her extra money. Maybe that's how your son bailed his girlfriend out of jail. They are amazingly good at getting money when they have to. Maybe he panhandled. My daughter has done that as well. Embarassing since she had a job at Walmart and was living at home, but spent her paychecks on drugs and needed more for more drugs. Oh, well. At least your son has a job. I see that as a positive sign. But I'm sure he could rent a room in somebody's home no matter how low his salary is. As long as some income is there, there is someplace you can go to have a roof over your head that is not a shelter. Hoping for the best for your son and your response to your ex was in my opinion appropriate and brave. [/QUOTE]
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