Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
He wants to spend the night.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Jabberwockey" data-source="post: 663318" data-attributes="member: 18238"><p>Several have said this before but it bears repeating. This attempt to invalidate your condition brought on by his actions is him trying to manipulate you. He is trying to minimize his impact on your life to try to sell the idea of him moving back in to you. He is a grown man and if he wants to come back to visit friends then either they can put him up for the night or he can get a hotel.</p><p></p><p>I will have to explain this next part a bit so bear with me. When I first started with Corrections it was at a Maximum security prison. When the offenders went to meals, we were running close to half the prison at a time so there was close to 1000 offenders in the dining hall at any given time. You could be standing right next to another officer, shouting at the top of your lungs, and still might not be heard it was that noisy. The quieter it got, the more likely it was that a serious incident was about to happen. If it got truly quiet, someone was about to die. The quieter it got, the more hyper-vigilant aka paranoid staff became. Its like that for me when our son comes home. Granted, not the someone is going to die paranoia, but I tense up and become much more vigilant. I have to force myself to not follow him into other rooms to make sure he isn't doing anything he shouldn't be. I know Lil has a similar feeling when the phone rings and its him. Several times we have both commented something to the effect of "Well, so much for a quiet night" when he calls. </p><p></p><p>The point is that we deserve peace in our own homes. If having our difficult children spend the night disturbs that peace then tell them no! I love my son dearly and it breaks my heart that I cant trust him but that is his doing, not mine. Remember that. No matter how much he cries, whines, argues, cajoles, wheedles, or whatever, ITS ON HIM!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Jabberwockey, post: 663318, member: 18238"] Several have said this before but it bears repeating. This attempt to invalidate your condition brought on by his actions is him trying to manipulate you. He is trying to minimize his impact on your life to try to sell the idea of him moving back in to you. He is a grown man and if he wants to come back to visit friends then either they can put him up for the night or he can get a hotel. I will have to explain this next part a bit so bear with me. When I first started with Corrections it was at a Maximum security prison. When the offenders went to meals, we were running close to half the prison at a time so there was close to 1000 offenders in the dining hall at any given time. You could be standing right next to another officer, shouting at the top of your lungs, and still might not be heard it was that noisy. The quieter it got, the more likely it was that a serious incident was about to happen. If it got truly quiet, someone was about to die. The quieter it got, the more hyper-vigilant aka paranoid staff became. Its like that for me when our son comes home. Granted, not the someone is going to die paranoia, but I tense up and become much more vigilant. I have to force myself to not follow him into other rooms to make sure he isn't doing anything he shouldn't be. I know Lil has a similar feeling when the phone rings and its him. Several times we have both commented something to the effect of "Well, so much for a quiet night" when he calls. The point is that we deserve peace in our own homes. If having our difficult children spend the night disturbs that peace then tell them no! I love my son dearly and it breaks my heart that I cant trust him but that is his doing, not mine. Remember that. No matter how much he cries, whines, argues, cajoles, wheedles, or whatever, ITS ON HIM! [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
He wants to spend the night.
Top