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<blockquote data-quote="2much2recover" data-source="post: 640757" data-attributes="member: 18366"><p>I think men are less adept at dealing with the strong emotional things/events than women are. This is not an excuse but just a frame of reference. When dealing with difficult children people DO just get so tired of all the upheaval in their lives they see no other way but to get themselves out of the situation. I know you are feeling rightfully angry and hurt right now but my suggestion is to start finding pockets of time where the two of you can work on you relationship. You need to get to the root of what your husbands needs are, the things he feels that he has been unable to communicate to you in a proper way. If it is the drama brought on by difficult child, I think you are going to have to really back off of the needs of the difficult child and put the focus back on the rest of the family. difficult children and their drama can suck all the oxygen out of other relationships. </p><p>Perhaps your husband is telling you this now because he recognizes that instead of a divorce he wants to open the door to taking his needs and the family's needs into consideration and break the drama cycle with the difficult child. I kind of doubt if he really was going to follow through with a divorce for any other reason he would have told you about it now that difficult child is out of the house. Maybe this is his maybe "not cool" way of telling you he does not want her coming back period.</p><p>I feel for you that you are having to go through this right now as you are doing the right thing by taking care of your precious grandson, which is exhausting in itself and this is last thing you needed right now in your life. </p><p>Sometimes events in our lives force us to face what we have been unwilling to face in the past. </p><p>I just feel so damn sorry that you are having to deal with this right now!</p><p>Hugs!</p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/grouphug.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":grouphug:" title="grouphug :grouphug:" data-shortname=":grouphug:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2much2recover, post: 640757, member: 18366"] I think men are less adept at dealing with the strong emotional things/events than women are. This is not an excuse but just a frame of reference. When dealing with difficult children people DO just get so tired of all the upheaval in their lives they see no other way but to get themselves out of the situation. I know you are feeling rightfully angry and hurt right now but my suggestion is to start finding pockets of time where the two of you can work on you relationship. You need to get to the root of what your husbands needs are, the things he feels that he has been unable to communicate to you in a proper way. If it is the drama brought on by difficult child, I think you are going to have to really back off of the needs of the difficult child and put the focus back on the rest of the family. difficult children and their drama can suck all the oxygen out of other relationships. Perhaps your husband is telling you this now because he recognizes that instead of a divorce he wants to open the door to taking his needs and the family's needs into consideration and break the drama cycle with the difficult child. I kind of doubt if he really was going to follow through with a divorce for any other reason he would have told you about it now that difficult child is out of the house. Maybe this is his maybe "not cool" way of telling you he does not want her coming back period. I feel for you that you are having to go through this right now as you are doing the right thing by taking care of your precious grandson, which is exhausting in itself and this is last thing you needed right now in your life. Sometimes events in our lives force us to face what we have been unwilling to face in the past. I just feel so damn sorry that you are having to deal with this right now! Hugs! :grouphug: [/QUOTE]
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