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<blockquote data-quote="PatriotsGirl" data-source="post: 640938" data-attributes="member: 15796"><p>We did talk. It was nothing to do with me and everything to do with her. He just couldn't take it anymore and looking back at what I put up with from her, I can't say I blame him. It was sheer craziness and I am so embarassed that I put up with so much. Her screaming at me and calling me names again. Sleeping on the couch while she was supposed to be up caring for her son, making a mess around here and doing nothing to contribute, treating everyone like dirt and not looking for a job. I handed her a car, paid her car insurance and ate her koi with a spoon - all for that little boy.</p><p> </p><p>I can't say he never expressed this before because he did express his unhappiness with her and how we were living for a long time. I just thought he was venting and that we were both putting up with it for Connor's sake. He has no plans to leave now but says if I ever let difficult child move back in he will leave. I told him that will never, ever happen again and I seriously mean that from the bottom of my heart. I have NO desire to ever share a home with her again. She will need to build a life for herself this time. But just as I say about the things she says, he feels the same about what I say - he will believe it when he sees it because I always want to rescue her and I totally understand that.</p><p> </p><p>But honestly, I cannot explain it, there is still a major void of feelings there for her. I don't feel bad for her, I don't feel pity - I get angry when I think about what she was doing around Connor, but other than that, nothing. My focus is on that little boy. I take my oath very seriously - I will protect him - including from her and her craziness. If she ever wants him back, she will need to do the hard work of going to treatment, getting counseling and then building a life for her to take care of him. If she wants to be a junkie - she can stay FAR away from us and we will bring him up with a normal, happy childhood. She has court this Friday and I am praying they don't just let her out because I am not handing that little boy over to her and I am not sure if that is what she expects. She is not allowed here. If she wants to see him, it will have to be a visit somewhere else and I am even iffy on that - he is doing so well and I am so afraid seeing her for just a short visit would set him back.</p><p> </p><p>We took him to Snow World last night to see the lights and Santa - we had fun. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> And then we jammed to Christmas music during the drive. He is adjusting happily. He still wakes up in the middle of the night, but it is not screaming and crying like before. The past two nights I have put him to bed and left when he fell asleep - he has woken up at 3:30 both nights, but I go upstairs and he goes back to sleep pretty quickly. Yesterday morning he woke up alone and actually got up and played for a while! I was in the shower and husband was pulling out the Christmas decorations and thought he heard him so he was listening and sure enough - he was up playing by himself just fine until he heard grampa. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> I told husband that says a lot about the job we are doing with him...he is feeling stability and safety... </p><p> </p><p>And he has started saying mama and dada a lot...I haven't corrected him but not sure how to handle - should we correct him or let it go?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="PatriotsGirl, post: 640938, member: 15796"] We did talk. It was nothing to do with me and everything to do with her. He just couldn't take it anymore and looking back at what I put up with from her, I can't say I blame him. It was sheer craziness and I am so embarassed that I put up with so much. Her screaming at me and calling me names again. Sleeping on the couch while she was supposed to be up caring for her son, making a mess around here and doing nothing to contribute, treating everyone like dirt and not looking for a job. I handed her a car, paid her car insurance and ate her koi with a spoon - all for that little boy. I can't say he never expressed this before because he did express his unhappiness with her and how we were living for a long time. I just thought he was venting and that we were both putting up with it for Connor's sake. He has no plans to leave now but says if I ever let difficult child move back in he will leave. I told him that will never, ever happen again and I seriously mean that from the bottom of my heart. I have NO desire to ever share a home with her again. She will need to build a life for herself this time. But just as I say about the things she says, he feels the same about what I say - he will believe it when he sees it because I always want to rescue her and I totally understand that. But honestly, I cannot explain it, there is still a major void of feelings there for her. I don't feel bad for her, I don't feel pity - I get angry when I think about what she was doing around Connor, but other than that, nothing. My focus is on that little boy. I take my oath very seriously - I will protect him - including from her and her craziness. If she ever wants him back, she will need to do the hard work of going to treatment, getting counseling and then building a life for her to take care of him. If she wants to be a junkie - she can stay FAR away from us and we will bring him up with a normal, happy childhood. She has court this Friday and I am praying they don't just let her out because I am not handing that little boy over to her and I am not sure if that is what she expects. She is not allowed here. If she wants to see him, it will have to be a visit somewhere else and I am even iffy on that - he is doing so well and I am so afraid seeing her for just a short visit would set him back. We took him to Snow World last night to see the lights and Santa - we had fun. :) And then we jammed to Christmas music during the drive. He is adjusting happily. He still wakes up in the middle of the night, but it is not screaming and crying like before. The past two nights I have put him to bed and left when he fell asleep - he has woken up at 3:30 both nights, but I go upstairs and he goes back to sleep pretty quickly. Yesterday morning he woke up alone and actually got up and played for a while! I was in the shower and husband was pulling out the Christmas decorations and thought he heard him so he was listening and sure enough - he was up playing by himself just fine until he heard grampa. :) I told husband that says a lot about the job we are doing with him...he is feeling stability and safety... And he has started saying mama and dada a lot...I haven't corrected him but not sure how to handle - should we correct him or let it go? [/QUOTE]
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