he would not pull his pants up.....

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by amazeofgrace, Oct 6, 2008.

  1. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    so I went to the shelter today for the "team" meeting with difficult child I, the shelter warden, the CMO worker and the in-home therapist. difficult child I was once again rude to the female CMO worker and me. He is digging his heels in about his "lifestyle choices". difficult child I was doing fine with shelter life until one of the female workers told difficult child I to pull his sagging pants up (which is a rule) when difficult child I refused she took away 25 points. He apparantly verbally expressed his dismay. Then in the meeting the shelter warden re-enforced the rule and difficult child I basically told him, "then you can keep taking my points" sigh................grrrr....................... this child is so stubborn and bull headed, he has no idea how much he is going to regrett these choices some day!:mad:
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2008
  2. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    I am sorry he is so ugly to you and all other females. It is really hard when your child acts like that. I am lucky that Wiz moved out of that and is pretty respectful most of the time. (Seeing his sister de=pants a guy at Kroger when she was 3 or 4 kinda stuck in his head making him think the saggy pants look is silly. And, yes, she did. She wanted to ask one of the baggers a question and walked up and tugged on his clothing. Happened to be his pants, and they were so far down they fell OFF! It was funny, but not to him.)

    Anyway, I hope that gave you a laugh. Sounds like it was not a great day and a laugh would help.

    I hope that the consequences from losing points is enough that he starts to follow the rules at some point.

    Hugs to you. This must be impossibly difficult, and hard on your tender mommy heart.

  3. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    LOL on the toddler pantsing the cashier!

    I am ok, I feel guilty for feeling ok, I am not great, I am not a vegetable, I am just simply OK.
  4. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Hey OK is a start! You are so strong and you have come so far. I would have had to have held my hands hard, to stop myself from grabbing his pants and ripping them up!!! Giving him a huge wedgie! How you like that?
  5. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    OK is not bad! It's a good start, as a matter of fact. He is making some stupid choices, but they are his. In the long run, they will help him grow up. :(
  6. LittleDudesMom

    LittleDudesMom Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I think right now he's showing the false bravado "go ahead, take my points, I don't care". If I had to venture a guess, I would say that those missing points will make a "point" sooner or later!

  7. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    I'm agreeing with Sharon on this one! She truly hit the nail on the head. When difficult child 1 was "ambulanced" to the psychiatric hospital, false bravado prevailed, (remember, he's only 9).

    "I don't care if they admit me"
    "Ok, the only place to admit you is in Manhattan, which means you'll be about 2 hours away"
    "I don't care"
    "Ok, that means it's up to them when you get out - I lose all control"
    "I don't care"
    "Ok, if that's what they recommend, I'll sign the papers"
    "I don't care"

    Then the kid across from him on the bench (about 7 years old) was escorted to a stretcher, strapped in and was being bussed to a ward in the Bronx.

    "I didn't know they take kids this young"
    "Well, you don't care"
    "I didn't know that you can be acting good and they can send you anyway"
    "Well, good thing you don't care"
    "I didn't know they can send you to anywhere they want"
    "Well, good thing you don't care"



    False bravado will only support you for just so long. Then they realize that the only person they're putting the screws to is themselves and it's a rude awakening! THAT'S when we get to laugh up our sleeves!

    Glad you're at least ok. It's a good starting place!

  8. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Well, he cared about the points being lost at first but I guess droopy drawers is just a tad more important. When the point loss becomes too expensive, the pants will be raised. The good part is that he may see that sometimes getting his way is not the way to win the war.

    Hang in there. Sometimes the best we can hope for are match awakenings -- the light bulb moments are few and far between for our kids. It really is one baby step at a time. At least he's in a place with some real rules and real consequences.
  9. Mac&Cheese

    Mac&Cheese New Member

    Oh Susie, the toddler is definately a lol! Where is America's funniest home V when you need it?
    The False bravado is something I heard from my 6 yr old all the time.
    I don't care if you take my tV
    I don't care if I miss soccer
    I don't care, etc. etc. BUT HE DOES! He will regret losing his points for the baggy pants whether he ever admits it or not! Amazing Grace how old is your difficult child? I am a newbie and don't know much about the other parents here.
  10. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    difficult child I = 17
    difficult child II = 12 (2morrow);)