headed for a 4th DUI it seems
- Thread starter Sunlight
- Start date
saving grace
New Member
Poor Ant. I dont know what else to say. so sad. I still wonder if Ant himself spoke to or pleaded his case for another chance to the police, maybe they wont file the charges or all of them. Maybe the letter from boyfriend would help with that. Hmmmm I dont know, just grasping at straws here.
I will keep thinking.
I so wish Ant would make better use of this time right now.
Grace
I will keep thinking.
I so wish Ant would make better use of this time right now.
Grace
he only called them to see what the charges were. the cop was nice, asked him where he worked, ant told him boyfriend's name. the cop went to high school with boyfriend and said he was a good guy. boyfriend said the same about the cop. no letter will be sent unless there is a court case.
at this point I am ready to kill ant myself..
at this point I am ready to kill ant myself..
ant mentioned going to New York this weekend to meet a gal he met on the internet so he could "get away" for a break. I told him in no uncertain terms I would not retrieve him from NY. I also told him it would make things much worse....another reason Kaleb is coming...for ant bait. I am keeping kaleb in town til sunday. my house.
he is not used to not drinking his anxiety away and is really struggling.
he is not used to not drinking his anxiety away and is really struggling.
to top it off.... ant called and bit ago and spilled the beans that boyfriend is taking me on a surprize vacation next week. Ugh! just what I need... a surprize trip when things are so crazy here. boyfriend jsut called and said he is going to ring ant's friggin neck for telling me. apparently ant called and fessed up to boyfriend that he told me about the trip.
so now we have two agitated men and one woman about to get a glass of pinot noir before boyfriend gets here.
so now we have two agitated men and one woman about to get a glass of pinot noir before boyfriend gets here.
saving grace
New Member
LOL Janet, you deserve that glass. I will have one with you, I will make mine a pinot grigio. My husband is an alcohol salesman, my basement is filled with cases of his samples, thank goodness that spirits are not my difficult children drug of choice!! He has gotten into his samples but mostly for his friends not for himself.
Ant should not leave town! I wish I lived closer, I would share the glass with you and whack Ant in the back of the head and knock some sense into him, or try to anyway. :hammer:
I was in PA last week though, at Hershey park, we stayed in Lancaster, very pretty, lots of corn.
Grace
Ant should not leave town! I wish I lived closer, I would share the glass with you and whack Ant in the back of the head and knock some sense into him, or try to anyway. :hammer:
I was in PA last week though, at Hershey park, we stayed in Lancaster, very pretty, lots of corn.
Grace
WhymeMom?
No real answers to life..
Thinking of you as you go thru this rough period....have no advice....just here with you and Ant.... I agree with Nick not getting involved with this....don't think there is anything he could do and think it would hurt him in the long run in his career in law enforcement....
Hope something is soon resolved so life can go on....
Hope something is soon resolved so life can go on....
KFld
New Member
Have you looked into state run rehabs?? I know in CT you can get into them if you have state, or NO insurance. If you have no insurance the state will pay for it and expect you to pay it back someday if you fall into money or something?? The only thing with the state run one in CT though, is it takes quite a long time to get in, and I don't think he has that much time. My difficult child's attorney got him into the state run program through the court system a few years back and it was the best one he was in. Check into it if you can. Even if it means talking to his defender at the court.
PonyGirl
Warrior Parent
janet, my heart goes out to you. ant is making me angry! The yelling and hiding sounds like self-pity to me, and while I can understand that, he is old enough to know better! He really has no right to scream at anyone. :rolleyes: He has been in this spot so many times before, it's really time for him to learn something from his behavior, rather than sit and be so afraid.
His anxiety is 100% self-induced. I for one am glad he has no medications to soften the blow. He needs to feel all this emotion, it's the only chance that he can break the cycle. When I hear he doesn't even want to see his own son, I feel so angry with him! :grrr:
Well, that came out much harsher than I meant it to. I apologize, but jeeze! :warrior:
I continue to pray for ant. I am glad you are going away next week. God truly does have a plan. :angel:
Peace
His anxiety is 100% self-induced. I for one am glad he has no medications to soften the blow. He needs to feel all this emotion, it's the only chance that he can break the cycle. When I hear he doesn't even want to see his own son, I feel so angry with him! :grrr:
Well, that came out much harsher than I meant it to. I apologize, but jeeze! :warrior:
I continue to pray for ant. I am glad you are going away next week. God truly does have a plan. :angel:
Peace
Pony, I was much harsher on ant than anyone could be. I told him he has made the past 11 or so years of my life miserable and he is lucky I still even talk to him. I said a lot of other mean stuff. guess I had to get it out too.
I am going to get kaleb today and he will be here for me. if ant wants him, he can say so. otherwise Kaleb will keep me entertained and busy.
if you follow the Lindsay Lohan tale....it reminds me so much of ant. but with money. like they said she can hire a driver for herself so why did she get in and drive a car again?? she was in a top rehab and is back there now. apparently it is not working for her.
I will not try to get him in a rehab. he is headed for court and they will decide his fate.
I am going to get kaleb today and he will be here for me. if ant wants him, he can say so. otherwise Kaleb will keep me entertained and busy.
if you follow the Lindsay Lohan tale....it reminds me so much of ant. but with money. like they said she can hire a driver for herself so why did she get in and drive a car again?? she was in a top rehab and is back there now. apparently it is not working for her.
I will not try to get him in a rehab. he is headed for court and they will decide his fate.
MrsMcNear46
New Member
I'm so sorry Ant continues to drink. Addiction so destroys our familes. I just hope one day, he will help himself.
Enjoy Kaleb and your trip. There really isn't anything you can do at this point. I know it must be so very difficult and sad for you.
Sweet Betsy has been out of my home for over a year, but even from 400 miles away, the drama continues. I seriously wonder if it will ever stop. I wonder how many more nights I will agonize over her choices. I have detatched pretty well, but she is still my daughter and I love her dearly. Our difficult child's have a way of leaving us broken hearted.
Hang in there, I will continue to pray for you all.
Blessings,
Mrs. McNear
Enjoy Kaleb and your trip. There really isn't anything you can do at this point. I know it must be so very difficult and sad for you.
Sweet Betsy has been out of my home for over a year, but even from 400 miles away, the drama continues. I seriously wonder if it will ever stop. I wonder how many more nights I will agonize over her choices. I have detatched pretty well, but she is still my daughter and I love her dearly. Our difficult child's have a way of leaving us broken hearted.
Hang in there, I will continue to pray for you all.
Blessings,
Mrs. McNear
DazedandConfused
Well-Known Member
Geez, I'm mad at Ant. I just don't know what to say. I hope he gets this turned around and keeps it that way.
Lindsay Lohan was in "Promises" in Malibu. It's pretty much a cushy psuedo-rehab/resort. An easy place to sober up and not have to suffer the shock of losing the luxury. Plus, it's good public relations for their image. I'm not suprised by her relapse.
I understand she's considering Betty Ford which is near where I live. A good place that doesn't care about celebrity.
However, rehab doesn't work for anyone that doesn't take it seriously and doesn't have a personal investment in their recovery.
Enjoy your trip, Janet!
Lindsay Lohan was in "Promises" in Malibu. It's pretty much a cushy psuedo-rehab/resort. An easy place to sober up and not have to suffer the shock of losing the luxury. Plus, it's good public relations for their image. I'm not suprised by her relapse.
I understand she's considering Betty Ford which is near where I live. A good place that doesn't care about celebrity.
However, rehab doesn't work for anyone that doesn't take it seriously and doesn't have a personal investment in their recovery.
Enjoy your trip, Janet!
he has been drunk two days, missed work first time ever today.
got kaleb and he called me within an hour and had me pick kaleb back up.
he is giving up. no word from anyone in the law, no cert letter in mail. he made me cancel doctor appointment, and is medicating with beer. said it is cheaper.
sigh
got kaleb and he called me within an hour and had me pick kaleb back up.
he is giving up. no word from anyone in the law, no cert letter in mail. he made me cancel doctor appointment, and is medicating with beer. said it is cheaper.
sigh
Big Bad Kitty
lolcat
((((((((((((((((comforting hugs))))))))))))))))))))
Ant is in my prayers. Never give up hope.
Ant is in my prayers. Never give up hope.
totoro
Mom? What's a difficult child?
Oh boy... he sounds like my brother. although my stupid bother has been somehow lucky enough not to, have to do any time yet...
Even with the near death overdoses, the losing his kids, all of the bs, the dui's etc. NOPE!!!
Some of them just don't get it!!! Or can't.
I look at my life compared to my brother, and just don't know why one would want to live and fight, why one would want to stay sober, why I am the one who can withstand the BS and get through it and he can't? We both have issues, I can only imagine he has a Mood Disorder as well... we grew up in the same house for a long time and things got worse for both of us even when we were apart... yet why is one brain,body able to deal?
Neither one of us is a easy child... I wish I knew. I wish I knew why anybody let's themselves fall into despair.
As an outsider we can sit here and say "but, you have so much to fight for and to live for". He must not see nor feel that inside... for some reason Ant doesn't get it, he doesn't realise he is worth something, and worth fighting for.
Which makes you so mad, because you know the truth...
I know detach... but reading what he is doing makes me sad for your Mommyheart... I am sorry.
Even with the near death overdoses, the losing his kids, all of the bs, the dui's etc. NOPE!!!
Some of them just don't get it!!! Or can't.
I look at my life compared to my brother, and just don't know why one would want to live and fight, why one would want to stay sober, why I am the one who can withstand the BS and get through it and he can't? We both have issues, I can only imagine he has a Mood Disorder as well... we grew up in the same house for a long time and things got worse for both of us even when we were apart... yet why is one brain,body able to deal?
Neither one of us is a easy child... I wish I knew. I wish I knew why anybody let's themselves fall into despair.
As an outsider we can sit here and say "but, you have so much to fight for and to live for". He must not see nor feel that inside... for some reason Ant doesn't get it, he doesn't realise he is worth something, and worth fighting for.
Which makes you so mad, because you know the truth...
I know detach... but reading what he is doing makes me sad for your Mommyheart... I am sorry.
F
flutterbee
Guest
I'm so sorry.
(((hugs)))
(((hugs)))
saving grace
New Member
Oh Janet! Give me his # all I want to do is shake him hard very hard. He cant do this!!! He has to stop, Please God watch over Janet's son while he finds his way. This journey he has started is a dangerous trek it will lead to no good. Please Ant dont do this.
Grace
Grace
