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Healing from Narcissistic Relationship: Very good article
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 675147" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p><img src="http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/8a/99/a5/8a99a54efefa882c7e9c6cf7f7463bf3.jpg" alt="" class="fr-fic fr-dii fr-draggable " style="" /></p><p></p><p>yes</p><p> Honor, compassion, build on that, rather than what happened, I cannot change that. I can look back and say I came through a tough time.</p><p></p><p> I had to think about this for a bit Cedar. At first, my answer was..... the imagery from the bobble heads I have seen in the back windshield of cars, <em>just that</em>. That was how I was feeling. I was sick with a weird right side headache, <em>almost</em> a migraine, but not, when I wrote this.</p><p></p><p>Now that I think more of it, my sister is driving, but so am I, in another car following behind......is that strange? </p><p></p><p> Thank you Cedar, I will do these things.</p><p></p><p> I like this imagery, we are like soldiers.</p><p>I have had many moments of feeling strong and real, then moments of self doubt and role.</p><p> I think when I am down, that is when it all creeps back in...</p><p></p><p> This is true, Cedar-fraud. So, if no one else in our FOO understood, or believed, how were we to? We were just little girls. Stuff I buried is surfacing, and I am made to look at it. It is not that I live this every day, it bubbles up now and then. When it does surface it is undeniable.</p><p>I have to look at it, it screams at me from my insides.</p><p><em>I didn't make this up.</em></p><p>Unfortunately, I didn't make it up.</p><p></p><p>We have to be our own witnesses, don't we.</p><p>But it will be okay, we will get through this, at least there is a name for it.</p><p> I cannot go back and fix it, but I can move forward.I am hoping that each time I experience this weirdness, this fog, I can come out of it a little stronger and more trusting of myself. </p><p>It helps to be able to share this. </p><p>Thank you from the bottom of my heart, for your posts and kind responses, Cedar.</p><p> This is true. It was about power and control, more than anything. I do not understand the win of it, but it is what it is. </p><p>I was not deserving of the ill treatment. I was a child.</p><p></p><p> You are correct, Cedar, there will be no verification, not ever. </p><p>I will have to trust myself and my memories.</p><p>I will have to regroup again. I have done it before. </p><p>I seem to be going about by life fine for awhile, then bam, here it comes again, like a tidal wave. </p><p>It knocks me off of my feet. </p><p>Usually, I just sequester myself, hard to do when I am working. </p><p>You know, some days I get up and feel a bit out of sorts.</p><p></p><p> I have found through periods of my life, I<em> need </em>alone time.</p><p> I am alright with being in solitude.</p><p></p><p> Embrace the inner child. I have to get back my "muchness".</p><p>[MEDIA=youtube]haiF5DOWwRo[/MEDIA]</p><p></p><p> True, there is nothing I can do to change the past. It's the flashbacks....and the flash forwards, I will still have to<em> deal </em>with my sister.</p><p></p><p>I do think I need to educate myself on this.</p><p>Finding better ways to respond to her now, or in the future, when I go back to help my mom.</p><p>I do not want to battle with my sister, there is no point in it, neither do I want to lose <em>myself</em>.</p><p>Can one prepare? Keep conversations simple.</p><p>I think the more I bolster myself,</p><p>change my response patterns, just like towards my d c's.....</p><p></p><p></p><p>You are right Cedar, I do recognize that I have repeated patterns, and become a victim even in my adult life. I would think, geez do I have a kick me sign?<em> I have involved myself in situations</em>, on community boards and such where after the true colors appeared, I really should have just <em>walked off..</em>.. I think I am learning to be better at saying NO, being more careful about how I spend my time, who I trust. </p><p> This means to me also, seeing how others treat me, and other folks for what it is, too. Standing up for myself, as well as recognizing unhealthy situations, and not signing up for volunteering when it is too much. Volunteering is good, but when it overtakes too much of your life, no good. </p><p>I was talking with one of Sons coaches, such a nice, kind person. He has had some pretty bad experiences with some <em>wolves</em> in the paddling world. People just taking advantage of his kindness and generosity.</p><p>So, I am not alone in my experience with this. </p><p></p><p>It is all about continuing to learn and grow. </p><p></p><p>"<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/h/henrydavid121510.html" target="_blank">As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.</a>"</p><p>*HDT</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I wonder too, if I am cycling, because the last "funk" I was in, was about a month ago. Hormones? </p><p><img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite10" alt=":oops:" title="Oops! :oops:" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":oops:" /></p><p></p><p>I really appreciate your help and knowledge Cedar.</p><p></p><p>Thank you so very much for taking time to guide me through this.</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/hugs.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":hugs:" title="hugs :hugs:" data-shortname=":hugs:" /></p><p>leafy</p><p></p><p>"<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/h/henrydavid121545.html" target="_blank">There is no value in life except what you choose to place upon it and no happiness in any place except what you bring to it yourself.</a>" </p><p>*HDT</p><p></p><p></p><p><a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/h/henrydavid103847.html" target="_blank">If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment.</a></p><p>*<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/h/henrydavid103847.html" target="_blank">Henry David Thoreau</a></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 675147, member: 19522"] [IMG]http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736x/8a/99/a5/8a99a54efefa882c7e9c6cf7f7463bf3.jpg[/IMG] yes Honor, compassion, build on that, rather than what happened, I cannot change that. I can look back and say I came through a tough time. I had to think about this for a bit Cedar. At first, my answer was..... the imagery from the bobble heads I have seen in the back windshield of cars, [I]just that[/I]. That was how I was feeling. I was sick with a weird right side headache, [I]almost[/I] a migraine, but not, when I wrote this. Now that I think more of it, my sister is driving, but so am I, in another car following behind......is that strange? Thank you Cedar, I will do these things. I like this imagery, we are like soldiers. I have had many moments of feeling strong and real, then moments of self doubt and role. I think when I am down, that is when it all creeps back in... This is true, Cedar-fraud. So, if no one else in our FOO understood, or believed, how were we to? We were just little girls. Stuff I buried is surfacing, and I am made to look at it. It is not that I live this every day, it bubbles up now and then. When it does surface it is undeniable. I have to look at it, it screams at me from my insides. [I]I didn't make this up.[/I] Unfortunately, I didn't make it up. We have to be our own witnesses, don't we. But it will be okay, we will get through this, at least there is a name for it. I cannot go back and fix it, but I can move forward.I am hoping that each time I experience this weirdness, this fog, I can come out of it a little stronger and more trusting of myself. It helps to be able to share this. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, for your posts and kind responses, Cedar. This is true. It was about power and control, more than anything. I do not understand the win of it, but it is what it is. I was not deserving of the ill treatment. I was a child. You are correct, Cedar, there will be no verification, not ever. I will have to trust myself and my memories. I will have to regroup again. I have done it before. I seem to be going about by life fine for awhile, then bam, here it comes again, like a tidal wave. It knocks me off of my feet. Usually, I just sequester myself, hard to do when I am working. You know, some days I get up and feel a bit out of sorts. I have found through periods of my life, I[I] need [/I]alone time. I am alright with being in solitude. Embrace the inner child. I have to get back my "muchness". [MEDIA=youtube]haiF5DOWwRo[/MEDIA] True, there is nothing I can do to change the past. It's the flashbacks....and the flash forwards, I will still have to[I] deal [/I]with my sister. I do think I need to educate myself on this. Finding better ways to respond to her now, or in the future, when I go back to help my mom. I do not want to battle with my sister, there is no point in it, neither do I want to lose [I]myself[/I]. Can one prepare? Keep conversations simple. I think the more I bolster myself, change my response patterns, just like towards my d c's..... You are right Cedar, I do recognize that I have repeated patterns, and become a victim even in my adult life. I would think, geez do I have a kick me sign?[I] I have involved myself in situations[/I], on community boards and such where after the true colors appeared, I really should have just [I]walked off..[/I].. I think I am learning to be better at saying NO, being more careful about how I spend my time, who I trust. This means to me also, seeing how others treat me, and other folks for what it is, too. Standing up for myself, as well as recognizing unhealthy situations, and not signing up for volunteering when it is too much. Volunteering is good, but when it overtakes too much of your life, no good. I was talking with one of Sons coaches, such a nice, kind person. He has had some pretty bad experiences with some [I]wolves[/I] in the paddling world. People just taking advantage of his kindness and generosity. So, I am not alone in my experience with this. It is all about continuing to learn and grow. "[URL='http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/h/henrydavid121510.html']As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.[/URL]" *HDT I wonder too, if I am cycling, because the last "funk" I was in, was about a month ago. Hormones? :oops: I really appreciate your help and knowledge Cedar. Thank you so very much for taking time to guide me through this. :hugs: leafy "[URL='http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/h/henrydavid121545.html']There is no value in life except what you choose to place upon it and no happiness in any place except what you bring to it yourself.[/URL]" *HDT [URL='http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/h/henrydavid103847.html']If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment.[/URL] *[URL='http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/h/henrydavid103847.html']Henry David Thoreau[/URL] [/QUOTE]
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Healing from Narcissistic Relationship: Very good article
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